


Mirrored Masks

by DaniPopplers



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Badass Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Rare Pairings, Rare Relationships, Rarepair, Reikuri, Secret Identity, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Spoilers, canoe, light spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniPopplers/pseuds/DaniPopplers
Summary: When Reiner Braun meets Krista Lenz at bootcamp, he has a hard time grasping why a devil like her could still be so positive and pure. He watches her from afar, observing silently, before they share a chance encounter during a field run. As she slowly becomes a fixture in his new life as a soldier, can he maintain his priorities as a warrior? They both have secrets to keep, but that doesn't stop them from falling for the masks they maintain. Minor Manga Spoilers. Slow Burn. Reikuri.





	1. Chapter 1

Krista panted. Deep, great gulps of air that didn’t make it all the way down to the bottom of her lungs. Sweat dripped down the strings of her limp blonde hair into her eyes. The sting of salt made her squint and blurred her vision considerably, but there was nothing to be done for it. The packs’ straps dug sharply into her bony shoulders, and she alternated pulling on them to relieve some of the pressure.

The field drills were by far the worst part of training. She was more than sure that she would come in last again this time, even behind Armin. Ymir had sauntered off ahead of her with ease hours before, snickering as she pulled ahead. The last stragglers, Eren and Armin had paired off to take a different route a half hour earlier and she was virtually alone in this stretch of the forest. With any luck, she’d make it back to the trainee barracks before dinner, but she wasn’t hopeful. The sun was already sinking into the west, the chill of early autumn already setting into the air around her.

The weight abruptly lifting off of her back was unexpected. It set her off balance and she plopped backward into the dirt. Two large boots stopped in front of her, then knees as the stranger knelt down to her level.

“I didn’t mean to knock you over. It looked like you could use the help.”

Reiner’s rugged face filled her vision as he stooped down, her pack slung over his shoulder over his own. A light blush stained the ridges of his cheekbones, but the hint of a sheepish smile tugging at the corner of his thin lips clued Krista into his unspoken apology- and amusement.

“Was it that obvious?” she grinned at him, and took the moment to swipe her brow with the back of her jacket. Unintended or not, the rest was deeply appreciated. His blush deepened at her smile, but he returned it in kind.

“Well, you are in last place.”

Krista grimaced at his assessment and he stood abruptly, offering her his large hand in aid. Gratefully, she took it.

“Thanks for stoppi-aaaAAHH!” she squealed as he hefted her up with more force than necessary, almost knocking her forward into the ground again.

“Sorry!” Reiner righted her and rubbed his neck self-consciously. “Didn’t realize you were so light.”

“Oh, not you too. Ymir keeps complaining that I’ll never make it as a soldier if I don’t gain some weight,” she grumbled and dusted herself off. The sky was shot with red and orange, denoting the lateness of the day. “What’re you doing so far back here anyways?”

Reiner cleared his throat and ignored her question, glancing at the sky as well.

“We should get going, unless we want to skip dinner,” he said and started to run on the trail again, still burdened by both packs.

“Hey, wait!” Krista scrambled to catch up with him. His legs were so much longer than hers were! “Reiner, you can’t carry my pack! It’s against the rules!”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he called over his shoulder, shooting a grin in her direction and she huffed, increasing her speed to catch up with him.  
\----

When they arrived back at the barracks, it was full dark and the dinner bell was already chiming. Krista’s legs felt like jelly, and she doubled over with her hands on her knees, desperately trying to catch the breath she’d lost an hour before. While the absence of the extra weight had definitely helped, Reiner hadn’t slowed his pace, requiring her to maintain his brisk jog. More of a flat-out run for her if she was honest with herself.

She had noticed him watching her out of the corner of his eye, and Reiner had adjusted his speed almost imperceptibly depending on how tired she must have looked. It was considerate of him, but when she’d mentioned it, he’d just snorted and kept his eyes straight forward from then on. He also refused to give her pack back to her, insisting that if she took it back they would never make it back before midnight.

Reiner dropped her pack to the ground next to her hunched form, and pulled his own off his back, letting it dangle in his fist.

“At least we made it back for dinner,” he mused, and Krista could hear the smirk in his voice without looking up. She still couldn’t manage to lift her head from its dropped position.

“Breathing...shouldn’t be...this hard,” she panted, gasping when she completed her sentence, and he chuckled.

“It’s easier if you stand and put your hands up over your head.”

“I don’t think I’ll...ever move again,” she complained, and started at the feel of his large, warm hands on her back, straightening her up. Gently, Reiner maneuvered her arms over her head until she was upright. She could feel her airway straighten, and almost groaned at the relief the fresh air provided. “Oh, that is much better. Remind me to listen to you more often!”

“Krista!” a voice barked from outside the mess hall. Framed by the light of the hall spilling onto the porch, Ymir’s stoic form strode down the stairs and stopped, her arms crossed as she eyed the pair. Her eyes narrowed to slits, watching them. Reiner dropped his hands from Krista’s sides like he’d been burnt and Krista could feel the loss of his body heat as he took a quick step away from her. She hadn’t noticed how much heat he radiated- like a furnace. She shivered in the sudden absence.

“Last again? Hurry up or all the food’ll be gone,” Ymir ordered with a jerk of her head. Instead of returning to the hall, she stayed planted, watching them. Breathing easier, Krista dropped her arms from her head and turned around, scooping up her pack before turning up to look at him. His eyes were trained on Ymir, but dropped to hers at her movement.

“Thanks for the help today, Reiner,” she smiled sweetly, and he grinned back, lopsided and sheepish. “Hopefully, I won’t be so dreadful next time.”

“I didn’t mind,” Reiner admitted, eyes darting back up to the mess hall quickly. “I…liked your company.”

“Oh...me too.” Krista felt her face heat, and turned quickly so he couldn’t see it. Not that he would be looking at her anyways.

“Well, thanks,” she called hurriedly and scampered over to where Ymir stood waiting like a silent watchdog. She didn’t notice the way Ymir and Reiner stood with gazes locked. Their eyes didn’t break until she had made it into the mess hall. With a smirk, Ymir turned on her heel and followed the tiny blonde back inside.  
\---

He shouldn’t have been keeping tabs on her during their field test. He shouldn’t have stopped to help her. He shouldn’t have enjoyed spending time with her and he certainly shouldn’t have admitted to it. He was here to graduate- becoming a soldier in the interior was his only goal. Should be his only goal. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy every second he’d spent in her presence that evening.

Rather than enter the mess, Reiner made for the barracks. He didn’t want to spend the meal exchanging territorial glares with Ymir over his plate. He knew he shouldn’t rise to the bait. He had no claim to Krista. It didn’t matter that they spent this evening together when she’d spent almost every day with Ymir since training began three months ago.

Krista and Ymir hadn’t known each other before enlisting, or so they said, but Ymir had doggedly trailed Krista’s every step since the first night. Not that Reiner had noticed. It was just that…he hadn’t seen another girl like her before. Someone so relentlessly optimistic and positive. She practically shone with an inner light that made his heart ache when he looked too close. How could someone still be so pure in the fucked up world they inhabited? Here, of all places? He was enchanted by her. It was just an infatuation that would fade with time, he was sure of it.

Running on autopilot, he dropped his pack and stripped his gear. Despite teasing Krista about missing dinner, seeing her leave with Ymir had left a sour taste in his mouth. He didn’t think he could choke down a bite. With a sigh, he flopped back onto his bottom bunk in the corner. When they had moved in, Bertolt and he had commandeered the corner bunks next to the door. They had a window to themselves, and more privacy than the other recruits. Privacy was a hard thing to come by in the cramped and decidedly masculine barracks, and as such, was a hotly traded commodity. He’d taken the bottom bunk, and strung up a sheet over the outside so he could close it for sleep.

Or now, he thought as he pulled it shut. He didn’t want to be disturbed when the other recruits came back from the mess. They’d all chat and socialize for a while after eating, he knew, and he didn’t feel up to it. When the door banged open 20 minutes later, their loud, energized voices filled up the small wooden room, echoing into his tented seclusion.

“Missed you at dinner, Reiner,” Connie called, slapping his hand open palm on the outside of the sheet. It ruffled inward at the intrusion and from behind it Reiner rolled his eyes. Not a moment’s peace.

“Wasn’t feeling up to it,” he replied, but he didn’t get up or remove the sheet. He slung his arm over his eyes and hoped that the devils would leave him be. He couldn’t maintain his mask in this mood, he’d just grouch at them and ruin the big brother persona they had already began to ascribe to him. He and Bertolt were two of the oldest there, and the younger boys were already looking up to them.

“Can I join you?” Bertolt stuck his head around the sheet near his feet, his brows drawn in worry. “I brought you some food.”

Reiner relented and pulled himself up, sitting cross-legged at the back of the bunk as Bertolt awkwardly arranged his lanky limbs in a mirrored stance at the other end. From inside his jacket, he pulled out two dinner rolls and a small hunk of hard white cheese.

“Krista helped me sneak it out,” he explained and Reiner couldn’t ignore the way his chest tightened at the thought. She’d noticed he wasn’t at dinner. Had she alerted Bertolt to that fact? Was she planning on bringing him the food herself? The idea strangely helped his appetite return. Rather than reply, he tore into a bread roll with his teeth and chewed vigorously.

“She was going to bring it herself, but Ymir put her foot down. You know how she is,” Bertolt continued, ignorant the effect his words were having on his partner. “Krista said it was to pay you back. Did you help her during training today or something?”

“Something like that,” Reiner replied, still chewing. While Bertolt appreciated the efforts he went through to blend in, he was sure he wouldn’t appreciate him breaking the rules for another recruit. They only had one goal after all. Reprimands and docked points did nothing to aid in that goal.

“You must be tired to have skipped dinner. I’ll let you rest.” As awkwardly as he’d arranged himself, Bertolt uncurled his legs and exited Reiner’s bunk. The creaking above settled as Bertolt found a comfortable position to fold himself into for the night.

Reiner quickly polished off the rest of his haphazard meal, and settled back in the bunk, one arm curled up under his head as he stared at the slats above him, lost in thought. As the rest of the barracks drifted off to their bunks for the night, the sound slowly died down to murmured whispers and soft snores, and Reiner Braun turned the blonde angel’s motivations over in his mind late into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

It was months before Reiner had another chance to interact with Krista. Late summer had drifted in early winter over those months, bringing in a cold that chilled them in their bunks, but had yet to produce their first snow. After their late return during that field test, Ymir had shadowed Krista’s every move, and hadn’t left her side during another field test. She sat next to her at every meal and traded chore assignments with others to maintain their proximity. Whether out of concern or to keep her to herself, Reiner couldn’t tell. Not that he noticed. He had his own goals to worry about.

Reiner was quickly climbing the ranks of the trainees. His brute strength combined with his tenacity and previous knowledge was aiding him. Not everyone had trained exhaustively for years prior to entering the military. Excelling at every test they threw his way, he was surpassed only by Eren’s friend- that stoic freak of nature, Mikasa. Not that he minded. The goal wasn’t to be the best- just top ten. Just good enough.

Reiner was a little shocked to find he was actually enjoying his time in the camp, and he and Bertolt were gaining the other trainees trust at a rapid rate. He was, however, finding it increasingly difficult to maintain his distance emotionally from the other soldiers. They shared every waking minute together, from eating to washing to sleeping. Trainees told him the stories of their home, many of which were devastated when the wall was invaded all those years ago. When they broke the wall. The closer he got to them, the easier it became to just shove the warrior part of himself back in his mind. He smothered it during those moments so that he could maintain his composure. If he didn’t, he would scream every time Eren began to rant, railing at the stories of horror and loss internally. So Reiner became the soldier during the day, if only for some respite from the howling in his mind.

Watching Krista helped calm the madness. Her goodness, her purity was an anchor in his blustering mind. She became his North Star, as untouchable as the ball of gas billions of light-years away, but just as necessary as its location in the sky. As foreign and unreachable as that guiding light. So he forced himself to be content with observing her and letting her steer him from afar. If he hadn’t been observing her, he never would have noticed she had fallen during the field test that day, months after the first.

The instructors chose a different trainee to lead the drill each time, raffling through the names. Today, it was Ymir. She had scowled, eyes darting down to Krista for a moment, but in the end, protesting would do nothing but earn her a second run and no dinner. That had left Krista unescorted for the first time in months. Not that it would make any difference to him, he sternly reminded himself. He still had his own score to think of, and Krista routinely came in towards the end of the group.

“The drill today is 15 kilometers of hill running in full gear,” Instructor Shadis barked, ignorant to the groans it elicited in his students. Krista deflated slightly, and Reiner grimaced. Even for him, this was no short order. Full gear was a hard demand, and 15 kilometers was much more than they’d covered in gear. Training was starting to ramp up for them it seemed.

“Anyone who returns past dinner will not receive any, just like always. You should be used to that by now,” he growled, eyeing them down. Their breath fogged in the early morning cold of the yard. The day didn’t promise any warmer weather as they were beginning the slow descent from late fall to early winter. “Our leader,” he continued, with a sharp glance at Ymir, “will set the pace. Make sure it’s a quick one.”

Ymir had not let the instructor down in the slightest. The clip she kept them at was grueling, and the standard stragglers had already began to lag behind after 2 kilometers. Mikasa, Bertolt, Jean, and Annie were keeping pace with, if not ease, at least minor difficulty. Connie and Sasha lagged just behind them, too busy trading jokes about their exhaustion to be bothered with vying for first place. Armin and Eren had paired off towards the back of the pack, to keep each other company, and Krista was dead last, already panting with exertion. Reiner was more cognizant of that fact than he was comfortable admitting to himself. He struggled to maintain his spot in the middle, close enough to the front that Bertolt wouldn’t give him an odd side eye, but far enough back that he could watch her. The flush creeping up her neck to bloom in her cheeks, despite the sharp cold, bore witness to her effort. It was because of his proximity that he noticed when she went down.  
\----

If it hadn’t been for the root, Krista was sure she would’ve made it to the end just fine. It didn’t matter that her lungs were burning from exertion. She could’ve run through her small calves cramping in the cold. The sharp sting in her nose at every icy inhale could’ve been ignored and pushed through. But that damn root.

Her left foot snagged on it after kilometer four, sending her sprawling face first into the dirt. The frigid temperature and the trainees’ boots had packed the ground tightly, leaving nothing but a hard, flat surface for her to face plant into. Outstretched palms broke her fall, just barely, but she could still feel the way her face scraped into the dirt, tearing at the soft flesh of her cheek. As her chin smacked against the ground, her teeth bit down on her tongue. Blood bloomed in her mouth. 

Ouch.

“Krista! Are you ok?” a deep, panicked voice called to her before a large set of boots filled her blurry vision. Then knees as the speaker knelt in front of her. Déjà vu.

“We have to stop meeting like this.” Krista smiled softly up at the concerned face of Reiner, before turning to spit out the blood pooling in her mouth. Very dignified. If only her relatives could see her now. He let out a nervous chuckle, and slung his pack off his shoulder.

“Well that answers my question,” he replied, and gently he reached over to right her. Even through her winter jacket, she could feel the heat of his hands on her arms, pulling her to an upright position. She hissed in pain as she sat back on her legs, and shifted to pull them out from under her. Nothing felt broken, but her left ankle felt funny. The sting in her palms and face were more pressing though, throbbing insistently as they demanded the bulk of her attention.

“What hurts worst?” Reiner asked, eyes roving over her face and form critically. It was clinical, devoid of a hint of arousal, but Krista felt her face heat anyways. Thinking of someone like Reiner looking at her like that made her stomach clench pleasurably. In response to his question, he held up her scraped hands to him, and stuck out her bitten tongue. She watched his eyes widen at the sight before he let out a sharp bark of laughter.

“’Oo asthed,” she pointed out, tongue still poked out of her mouth, before retracting it with a giggle. “My palms took the worst of it I think,” she amended.

Carefully, Reiner took her hands in his and turned them over to face palm up. Her icy hands fit entirely inside of his heated ones and she hummed in gratitude at the temperature difference.

“I can bandage these up for you,” he said, turning to dig in his bag. “But I can’t do anything about the tongue, I’m afraid.”

His eyes flashed with amusement as he shot a quick smile her way. He transferred both of her hands into one of his, and unrolled the bandage one handed, using his teeth to tear off the edge. With great care, he gently wrapped her palms, one at a time, and tied them up neatly. The throbbing decreased as he worked, settling to a dull ache by the time he completed his ministrations.

“Oh, that feels much better,” Krista sighed.

“You…have one more…” Reiner reached out a hand to cup her face. It took all her self control to not lean her frigid cheek into his scalding palm. Goosebumps swept up her arms at the sudden heat. She remembered how warm he’d felt the last time he’d helped her too. Maybe he just ran hot? A faint blush stained his cheeks as he tilted her head to the side to run a thumb over the gash. Krista started at the contact- she hadn’t felt that scrape with her hands protesting so loudly.

“I can’t bandage up that one, but I could clean it…if you want…” His voice dropped off to almost a whisper as he held her face. He stilled, eyes flickering to hers, waiting for her reaction. Silently, she nodded. She hadn’t noticed his eyes before. They were golden. Tawny and burning, like the sun. The intensity of them suited him, she thought. Reiner seemed like an intense person.

Krista felt the loss of his hand when he removed it, but his eyes shifting away from hers was like a broken spell. She released the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, blinking a few times to clear her still foggy vision. After a moment of digging, he pulled out a small flask, shaking it. 

“It’s supposed to warm you by drinking it, but it works just as well for this,” he explained with a grin, which she returned it on instinct. The strong scent of liquor made her scrunch her nose as he doused the cloth in the foul smelling liquid. Reiner was going to be last with her again, judging by the time he was taking to bandage her up, but when she mentioned it, he simply shrugged and wiped the cloth against the scrape on her cheek. She winced at the sharp sting, but didn’t cry out. Enough people thought she was too weak and useless to be a soldier- the idea of him thinking it also bothered her. 

If he noticed her flinch, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he returned the items to his bag and stood in one smooth motion. She was struck again by deja vu as he held down his large hand to help her stand. He must’ve noticed the eerie similarities as well. 

“I promise I won’t yank you too hard this time,” he smirked. In a mirror of his rescue months ago, she almost fell again as he helped her up. Unlike last time, it was not a result of his strength, but her weakness. Krista gasped as white hot pain lanced its way up her left leg from her ankle. Reiner’s grip on her tightened in response, and he slid his other arm around to her back when her knees buckled. 

“I guess it wasn’t just some scrapes.”

“I thought my ankle was hurt, but my hands were too distracting for me to notice,” she explained meekly. Holding the foot in question out, she glared down at it like it had personally offended her. Reiner maneuvered himself to crouch again in front of her, sliding his hands down to around her waist to steady her as she wobbled on one leg. Sparks flared down the trail his hands traced down her body, and she willed herself to ignore them. He was just being careful. He was just providing medical attention. What was wrong with her? 

Reiner gave her ankle an experimental roll. Krista hissed at the movement, and almost pitched forward. She placed her palms his shoulders to keep her balance as he examined it. His shoulders reached almost past her waist, even with his head bowed. The tips of his ears pinkened as she watched from her vantage point. Was he blushing? 

“It isn’t broken, but I think it is sprained,” he explained, tilting his head up to look at her again. Tawny gold eyes searched her face. “Do you think you can walk?” 

With a brave nod, Krista attempted to put weight on the limb. Had Reiner’s hands not already been ghosting at her waist, she would’ve fallen for sure. As it was, she felt his large fingers tighten around her in assurance. Her breath hitched at the sensation. 

“You should just go on without me, Reiner,” Krista muttered. She was disgusted with herself for failing- again- but she wouldn’t be the cause of him failing too. “I’ll wait here. Just tell someone I’m here when you get back to camp.” 

Reiner stared at her, mouth slightly agape and blinked. Once. Twice. 

“You shouldn’t take the point loss just for me. If you hurry, you could probably even catch up with the group,” Krista continued. Why was he looking at her like that? It was like she was suddenly not speaking the same language as him. 

The world tilted as Reiner stood, sweeping her legs out from under her as he did so. One arm slid between her back and her bag to grip her side and the other clutched her under her knees. He took extra care to not jostle her foot. Cradling her close to his chest- his very large warm chest, she couldn’t help but notice, he started off down the trail again at a surprisingly fast pace. 

“What’re you doing?” Krista squealed in bewilderment. She didn’t try to wiggle away, for fear he might drop her, or trip like she did. Besides, he was so warm. She could already feel the tingling indicating her frozen body was beginning to thaw and was reluctant to give that up so soon. 

“Carrying you,” Reiner replied simply. 

“But this is against the rules,” she protested weakly. The urge to nuzzle her way closer to the warmth was difficult to ignore with the icy wind whipping around her form as he moved. 

“We have almost ten kilometers to go before we reach camp. By the time I made it and sent someone back for you, you’d probably die of exposure. Besides,” he grinned down at her, “they may give me extra points for pulling the hero card. Who knows?”  
\---

Reiner willed his heart to still as he held her tiny form close. When she’d snuggled closer to him after a few kilometers, his heart clenched painfully. She was just looking for warmth, he told himself. When she fell asleep with five kilometers to go, he was sure that his heart would burst in his chest. 

The trust she was showing him as she slept so silently in his arms was breathtaking. Him. The enemy. The traitor. Not that she knew any of that, to be sure. But she was still trusting him. Krista had such a pure, good heart. Surely she could sense the evil inside of him? And yet she slept. 

Speech had failed him when she’d told him to leave her there, wounded in the cold. She wasn’t wrong, he’d probably earn a resounding failure when he showed up last with another recruit in his arms, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about that. At least not at the moment. At the moment, she was warm and soft and small. He was just pleased to have her in his arms, even if it was under special circumstances. His goal was to become an excellent soldier. His goal was to graduate at the top. Bertolt would chastise him when he returned. Annie would scoff at his sentimentality. And he would continue to lie to them and himself that this was nothing more than a ploy to earn sympathy and camaraderie from their fellow trainees, all to further their infiltration. But his pounding heart knew better. 

When the lanterns from camp began to peek through the trees and the dinner bell could be heard echoing towards them, Krista began to stir. She rubbed her face back and forth against his chest, mumbling, causing his chest to constrict painfully. Sleepily she opened her eyes, and started at the sight. His chest in her face must not have been what she expected to see. 

“Whaa….Reiner?” 

“Morning sleepyhead,” he chuckled, and then grimaced internally. Sleepyhead? Who said things like that? It was even dark outside! Idiot. 

“You carried me this whole way?” He knew he must be hallucinating the awe in her tone, but her face looked so sincere. Her large, blue eyes shone with gratitude. Unconsciously, he straightened and puffed out his chest, tugging her closer. 

“It wasn’t that hard. You don’t weigh hardly nothing,” he replied, and jiggled her a bit for emphasis. She yelped in surprise, winding her arms around his neck in response. He could feel the blood rush to his face at her proximity. It was impossible not to smell her scent this close, sugary vanilla and sunshine. Damn it. 

“Is that the camp?” 

“Yeah, we’re close. We should be there in a few minutes.”

“You should let me walk the rest of the way,” Krista murmured, and Reiner could feel his fingers clench around her small form. She wasn’t wrong. They would both get in loads of trouble if they returned to camp in this state. As it was, they’d be lucky to avoid a lecture and get to eat at all. They were both popular enough with their fellow soldiers that they were almost guaranteed some scraps, but it was never as filling as the full meal. He was, however, reluctant to let her down. 

Reiner continued to run in silence for a few more minutes, pretending to mull her proposition over. The lights glowed brighter as they neared the finish line. When they could nearly make out the entrance, he slowed to a stop, and set her down gently. She swayed in place for a moment, testing the feel of her weight on her foot. He knew he looked absurd with his hands hovering anxiously around her, but he didn’t want her to fall again. With nothing more than a grimace, she stood on both feet. 

“I think I can walk from here,” she said and grinned up at him. “Thank you for carrying me.” 

“It was no problem. Are you sure you can handle it?” Reiner knew he sounded nervous, but there was nothing to be done for it. For some inexplicable reason, the idea of her in pain bothered him immensely. 

“I’m sure,” she replied, and began to walk gingerly towards the lights. She favored her left foot heavily, but she was making it. Each step had less of a limp than the one before. 

“At least let me carry your gear-” Reiner tried but Krista shook her head insistently. 

“You’ve done enough Reiner. I’m fine, I promise.” The way she smiled was so sweet it made his teeth hurt. She was an angel. He’d gotten to hold her in his arms for hours, and she was thanking him for it? Marry me.  
\----

Dozens of eyes swiveled their direction when they finally made it into the dining hall. Most were curious, a few were teasing, and at least 3 pairs ranged into hostile. They’d simply deposited their gear outside the door in their haste to make it to eat on time, and were the last ones in. Together. 

“Look who finally made it back,” Ymir sneered, eyes narrowed at Reiner from her position at the end of her table. Krista shot him an apologetic smile as she made her way over to her spot next to Ymir. 

Bertolt had the decency to look concerned as Reiner dropped heavily onto the bench across from him. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were seated at the table as well. That was for the best- Bertolt couldn’t reprimand him in the open with them here. He could feel Annie’s eyes boring into him from the other side of the room. She never ate with them. It was considered safer that way. Less suspicion. Besides, he and Bertolt were the ones that were truly friends anyways. 

“Why’d you get back so late?” Armin asked politely. “Eren and I thought we were the last ones until we noticed you and Krista missing.” 

“Yeah Reiner! Why were you and Krista last?” Eren teased. It earned him a sharp elbow from Mikasa, and Reiner took the opportunity to tear into the bread with his teeth, allowing him some time to consider his answer. 

“She hurt her ankle and needed some help on the way back,” he replied after swallowing. He said it calmly and without emotional inflection. No mention of carrying her. No mention of his growing infatuation. No need for details. He hoped Ymir wasn’t giving Krista the third degree at their table, although he was more than certain she was. 

“I’m sure if you explained that to Instructor Shadis, he’d give you at least partial marks for the test,” Armin offered, but Reiner shrugged, taking another bite. The points didn’t bother him at the moment. The test had gone pretty damn well, as far as he was concerned. 

“You’re becoming quite the hero,” Bertolt commented quietly. Reiner froze mid bite to glance up at him. Bertolt’s eyes bore into his, soft and insistent. An unspoken warning. Reiner huffed. 

“Don’t worry Bertolt. I’m not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! I hope you liked it, even if it was a little familiar. There aren't any more field runs in the story as of yet (I'm on chapter 7) but I felt it'd be a nice mirror- get it? Feel free to comment! I want to hear your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3

They were friends now, Reiner supposed. He wasn’t sure what else to call it. Krista actively sought him out now, so he supposed that made them friends. She waved and smiled at him when he passed her by in camp. She asked him for help when they were cleaning their vertical maneuvering equipment. She even sat with him when Ymir had morning meal duty. It was almost more than he could take. 

He could feel his preoccupation with her growing with every sweet smile she directed his way. Everytime she said his name, his heart clenched. He was supposed to be focusing on becoming a top tier soldier in the military. Yet, every smile ripped through his chest, blasting a hole in his warrior core and replacing it with honor and duty and...something else he couldn’t name. At least not yet. Instead of fading away, his infatuation was growing stronger. It was cementing itself inside the cracks in his soul and worming its way into his mind. He wanted to be the soldier she thought he was. To be worthy of her. Krista was gentle and kind, and it made him want to be too, instead of the monster he knew himself to be.

She didn’t tell anyone about that night. Whether out of her own embarrassment, or simply following his lead, he couldn’t be sure. She didn’t mention him carrying her, or her falling asleep in his arms. Part of him wanted to tell the entire camp that he’d held that angel in his arms- that she trusted him- but a larger part of him wanted to keep that memory to himself to treasure in private. 

Her increased interactions with him had not gone unnoticed by the squad either. They drew side eyes and ribbing when they spoke together in public, to Reiner’s bone-deep embarrassment. Zeroing in on his blood in the water, his crush was becoming a hot topic of teasing in the boys barracks. They delighted in the light mocking, and Connie had taken to fake swooning whenever he walked through a door, much to his chagrin. Reacting to it made it worse, so he tried to suffer in silence. 

Ymir routinely shot daggers his way at meal time, particularly when Krista chose his company to eat with- which admittedly wasn’t often. She often tried to steer Krista in another direction when she saw him coming, and more than once, she’d interrupted their conversations to drag Krista off for whatever urgent matter she had thought up in the moment. Reiner was sure she had a stockpile of them waiting in her head for moments such as those. Krista seemed oblivious to the hostility, and continued to seek him out daily. 

The other soldiers weren’t the only ones who had noted the difference either. His fellow warriors were beginning to take note of their closeness as well. Bertolt watched them interact closely, and while he didn’t attempt to stop him, Reiner could see his eyes tighten every time he indulged in her. Annie, however, was more vocal about it. Well- as vocal as Annie could be.

“Why are you even bothering making friends?” she had hissed at him during hand to hand. She had subdued him into a headlock, so she could reach to whisper in his ear. “You know that never ends well.” Reiner had shaken her off with a glare and a well placed heel, but the words had rattled around in his head for days. He’d even ignored Krista’s wave the next day, and hadn’t stopped to talk with her. The hurt look on her face had been too difficult to bear repeating the behavior. 

Slowly he began to seek her out as well. He began to initiate some of the conversations. She seemed to welcome them, and her happiness at seeing him couldn’t be faked- could it? She seemed to really enjoy his company. He sincerely doubted that, but she’d even said so herself. How could someone as pure as her want to speak with someone as monstrous as himself?   
\---

Winter was creeping into the camp at a relentless pace as the weeks after that fateful field test wore on. The camp had yet to experience their first true snowfall, but light flurries served as a reminder of what was coming. All the windows were iced over each morning, and fogged breath trailed after each recruit like titan smoke. The cold was adding difficulty to their daily chores, but that didn’t mean the workload had lessened. There were still meals to prepare, wood to chop, equipment to maintain, and animals to care for. Krista’s favorite job by far was the latter. 

The training camp was in possession of two dozen horses, ten dairy cows, three pigs (one of whom had recently had an out-of-season set of piglets), and a smattering of chickens, ranging from a dozen to as little as four depending on how fast the foxes were that season. The civilian population was not wrong in saying all the best food was wasted on the military. It was an exorbitant amount of livestock for a camp that housed around a hundred people. Granted, the horses weren’t for eating, but the other animals amounted to a small fortune each. And they each required their own food and care according to their species needs. It was exhausting work for most. But not Krista. 

Farm blood ran deep, and she was no exception. She’d been raised tending to animals on a small farm inside Wall Sina. Animals had been her friends when the other children were cruel. They had been her escape from an indifferent mother and absent father. Creatures were kind and simple. It didn’t take much to understand them, and they offered their love without conditions. Something that Krista had had precious little of in her life. 

It looked like snow on the morning she was assigned livestock duty. The grey clouds were heavy and dense in the sky overhead. Icy moisture permeated the air and whipping wind stung her cheeks pink, but Krista didn’t mind. While she would have to feed them and clean out their stalls and pens like usual, the cold weather also assured she’d have to stable the animals for the night as well. All of them. It was no small task, even for one of her experience. And with Ymir assigned to bunk cleaning duty, she knew just who to ask for help. 

“Reiner, hey!” she called, waving the giant down. He stopped and turned at the sound of her voice. His face didn’t change, but Krista was getting pretty good at reading his stoic expressions. Whenever she called to him, his eyes crinkled at the corners and warmed, thawing his yellow eyes to molten gold. She liked to think that it was just for her. 

“Morning, short stuff.” 

She giggled at the name, reveling in the butterflies it elicited in her stomach. He was slowly becoming accustomed to speaking to her, and the more often she sought him out, the more comfortable he was around her. 

“What were you assigned this morning?” 

He shrugged casually, an easy roll of one broad shoulder. “Equipment maintenance.” 

“Would you want to blow it off for me? I have a load of work with the animals today. Normally I’d be able to-” 

“Sure,” he agreed easily, cutting through her stream of explanations. 

“Are you sure? You could get in trouble,” she reminded him. He never seemed to mind getting in trouble for her, but that didn’t mean she had to like it, even if she was explicitly asking him to do it. The corner of Reiner’s mouth quirked up on one side. 

“Hey Jean! Can you cover for me at equipment maintenance?” he threw over his shoulder, eyes sliding from her face to the boy walking a few meters behind them. 

“Oh sure! Put it all off on me!” Jean grouched back, but nodded his head in agreement. 

“Thanks! I owe you.” He turned back to Krista with a smirk and raised eyebrow. If it weren’t for the frigid temperature, she might have melted into the dirt. “Easy.” 

Krista rolled her eyes- more for his benefit than hers as she was utterly charmed- and turned on her heel towards the stables. The animals were kept several hundred meters away from the other buildings, though their fields did butt up against a few. The stables and barns themselves were kept farther away, about a kilometer and a half. It wasn’t the safest choice, but whoever had built the camp was more interested in the smell than the security. Since the camp was already in the middle of nowhere, there really wasn’t a risk of bandits, just other animals. 

“So what am I helping you with?” Reiner asked, matching her pace casually with his hands in his pockets. Meanwhile, she was taking two steps for every one of his, trying desperately to not jog. That would be humiliating. 

“I normally have a lot of work to do with them anyways, but with this weather…” She looked up at the heavy clouds, her brow creasing in worry. “We’ll have to make sure we get them in for the night before it snows.” 

“We have to make it back before it snows too, you know,” Reiner mused, observing the sky with her. 

“Yes, I know. As much as I’d like to have a sleepover with them, I think we’d better not,” she giggled. They talked the rest of the walk, with occasional lulls into comfortable silence. She had to skip a few times to keep up with Reiner’s long strides, drawing a laugh from him each time. She didn’t really mind his laughter. It wasn’t mean or cutting like the others who had laughed at her in her past. His laugh sounded almost charmed, buoyant and light. Kind. 

When they arrived at the stables, several of the cattle began to walk towards the part of the fence closest to her, swinging their low heads back and forth in welcome. She stopped to scratch a few large floppy ears before heading into the buildings. 

“Hello, my lovelies,” she cooed into the stables, and was answered with a chorus of whinneys and hoof stamps. The stables smelled of hay, and manure, and warmth, and love. She breathed in deeply, eyes closed with the nostalgia it invoked within her. The stables always centered her. It was a safe place. She was pleased she could share it with Reiner. Shyly, Krista opened her eyes and glanced over at him, only to find him staring at her intently with a strange look on his face. 

“What?” she asked, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear self consciously. 

“N-nothing,” Reiner stammered back. He averted his eyes to glance around the stables, granting Krista a glimpse of red tipped ears. 

“These are the stables,” she said unnecessarily, with a sweep of her arm, and began to walk down the row of stalls, stopping to rub the nose of each horse as she passed. “This is Cinnamon, and Ginger, and Cocoa. They’re sisters. This one is Stormy- he’s a big boy. This is Poppy and Lily…” She continued down the line of horses, naming them off as she went until she got to the end. Reiner trailed behind her, bewildered. 

“I didn’t realize they all had names,” he admitted and Krista scrunched her nose up in derision. 

“They aren’t supposed to, since we use them for dangerous military operations. But I thought they deserved names,” she shrugged. It had been her tiny act of defiance in the face of the military. If animals were her friends, then they deserved to have names. Reiner grinned at that, head cocking to the side as he looked down at her. 

“Makes sense to me. Now you dragged me out here for my help. What’d you need?”   
\---

Krista had not been kidding when she said livestock duty was a lot of work. It was grueling, long, and complicated. Reiner was amazed she’d been able to work the job on her own in the past, let alone preferred it. It was exhausting, but Krista was showing no signs of stopping. Miraculously, she maintained her chipper addittue the entire time. She really seemed to be in her element- happy and glowing. It was mesmerizing. 

She’d put him to work immediately, mucking out the stalls that were vacated as she led the horses to the fields in an orderly line that would make school children weep. Reiner was no stranger to hard work, or livestock care, but it was a mountainous task she had set him on. Or at least he’d thought so. When she stopped him at mid afternoon for a snack break, he still had three stalls to go. Meanwhile, she had already milked the cattle, gathered the eggs, and fed the pigs. 

“Still haven’t finished?” she teased. Her eyes twinkled with amusement, causing his heart to sputter momentarily in his chest. Krista held up her basket for his inspection as she neared him, grinning. Inside were 5 brown speckled eggs. “Not a bad haul for the season.” 

Reiner, who wouldn’t particularly know, nodded wisely. She giggled and placed the basket in a corner, before turning back to him and jerking her head for him to follow her. Intrigued, Reiner leaned his shovel on the wall of the stall he was still working on. When he turned back, she was disappearing around the corner at the end of the stalls. 

The stables were the largest of the two barns, one long hallway with barn doors on either end and stalls along the sides. Since it was the largest, it also had the most storage in the loft as well. Most of the hay and alfalfa was stored in the second story, with a free standing ladder leading up into the small hole in the ceiling. A small hole that Reiner was now staring up at quizzically, wondering if he would fit. 

“What’re you waiting for?” Krista’s head appeared at the hole, eyes dancing with amusement and giggled. She was fast, and light on her feet- he had to give her that. Even with all his training, he hadn’t heard the ladder when she’d ascended. Her head disappeared again above him, and he scrambled up the ladder swiftly, wedging his bulky frame through the opening. 

The loft was surprisingly beautiful, in a soft sort of way. The light filtering in wasn’t as bright as Reiner suspected it usually was, due to the overcast day, but it still maintained its air of magic. Golden hay bales piled up to the slanted roof, surrounding the opening. Small walkways were carved between them so that one could make their way deeper to alfalfa and grains, branching out like the narrow mouths of mazes. The bales linked up like blocks, giving the impression of massive staircases winding endlessly upward. 

Krista was already perched up two levels of hay, legs crossed neatly. She giggled as she watched him wiggle through the gap and waved to get his attention. On the straw next to her, she’d already laid out their snack for the day. Even if they were military, they still only got two full meals a day. The benefit of working one of the harder jobs was that you were provided with a midday snack to make it to dinner. Unfortunately, only one of them had been assigned this difficult job and had the food to show for it.

“I know you didn’t get a snack for today, so I thought we could share,” she explained shyly and Reiner felt his chest tighten. She was so generous. Is she this way with everyone or is it just...with me? With an apologetic smile, she held out a crusty wheat roll in one dainty hand and a small, wizened apple in the other. “Not a great choice for today, but you can have first pick?” 

“I don’t want to take your food, Krista,” Reiner hedged, looking from the food, to her face. Even perched higher up, their faces were almost the same height. She was so small, surely she needed this more than him? He could feel him mind drag itself back to carrying her. Even in full gear, she was a feather. 

“Don’t be silly,” she smiled widely, eyes creasing at the corners. “You’re doing this job too, right?” 

Without giving him a moment to consider, she tossed the roll his way. Instincts kicked in before he had time to make a decision, and his hand reached out to snatch it out of the air. With an innocent blink of her large, blue eyes, she bit into her apple, chewing loudly to prove her point. Reiner chuckled at her and sank heavily down onto the bale below her. 

“You’re deceptively stubborn, you know that?” 

She snickered, and nodded, still crunching through her bite. Taking her cue, he bit into his own snack. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, munching quietly. Wind whistled through the wooden slates, bringing in wisps of cold with it. Reiner simply soaked up her presence, content just to be close to her. That’s all he was supposed to do anyways. Just observe from a distance. What did it matter if that distance happened to be only a few centimeters…?

“Thank you for agreeing to help me today.” Krista’s voice brought him back to the present.

“I can’t say no to you,” Reiner teased, ignoring the way his stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought. It was becoming more and more true. 

“Still...it was really nice of you,” she continued. Carefully, she stepped down from her bale to sit next to him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention. A brush of her sleeve against his forearm sent chills up his spine. Every inch of his skin was intimately aware of her proximity. 

“You’re a nice person, Reiner.” 

“No, I’m not.” 

The words were out before he could call them back. The urge to physically reach out his hands and stuff the words back down his throat was overwhelming. Krista, who didn’t seem to notice his inner turmoil, giggled. 

“Of course you are. You always help me out when I need it. And there was that time during the field run…” She trailed off and he risked a glance in her direction. He could see her cheeks darken as she gazed down at the apple core in her hands. “Not everyone would stop and help someone so weak.”

There it was. Finally. Weeks after the fact. Without ever having spoken of it aloud, she’d just brought it up like it was nothing. Although, they’d been in the company of others since that day. They hadn’t been alone like this since then. The loft suddenly felt stifling hot, despite the cold creeping in. Reiner had to remind himself to breathe. 

“You aren’t weak,” he whispered. His gamble paid off as she looked up at him, large, watery blue eyes meeting his. She smiled up at him sadly, as a shadow fell across her face. 

“Sure I am,” she sniffed, and he watched with rapt attention as she gracefully swiped away two tears dangling from the edges of her blonde lashes before they fell. “You had to carry me all the way back. If that isn’t weak, I don’t know what is.” She laughed then, a short, breathless thing that caught in her throat. Reiner hesitated, before plowing forward against his better judgement.

“It wasn’t your fault. You’d hurt your ankle after all. How else would you have made it back?” 

“Then I’m glad you were there.” A small, cold, soft hand slipped into his rough one- a reward for his gamble. Her fingers wound around his own as they dug matching finger-shaped gouges in his heart. His mind shattered into pieces around him, his mask solidifying into something real. He could be a soldier. He could be that for her. As quickly as she had entwined her hand in his, she was pulling away, leaving him with nothing but a small squeeze of his hand that he felt echo deep in his chest. 

“We should get back to work,” she said softly, and hopped up, dusting herself off casually, as though she hadn’t just left him behind in tattered pieces. He hoped his helplessness wasn’t visible on his face as he watched after her lithe form. He was directionless now, blowing in the wind- she, his anchor. 

He followed her numbly down the ladder, as though in a daze. At the bottom, she stood in place, staring out the end of the stables with muted horror on her face. Panic surged in him as he followed her gaze towards the door. 

Outside, snow had begun to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Duh Duh DUUUUUUUUHHHH! And the plot (snow?) thickens!! Tell me what you think!!


	4. Chapter 4

The snow fell in large white chunks, quickly coating the frozen ground below in white, obscuring all manner of dirt and hoofprints. Without sound or warning, the winter storm had snuck up on them, slowly blotting out the sky and erasing all landscape markers. And the animals were all still out in it. 

Krista felt the panic bubble up her throat, but she swallowed it down. This camp was practically in the south compared to where she had been raised. She’d dealt with snow before. She’d been raised on a damn farm! She could do this. She rounded on Reiner, who was still frozen in place, staring out the barn door in shock. 

“All of the animals are still out there. We have to get them back here before we lose all visibility, and we have to act fast, or we’ll get trapped here until it passes ourselves.” She grimaced at the thought. The barns weren’t heated, and didn’t keep human food on hand. At least she had asked Reiner to help her today, otherwise she’d be stuck in this mess all alone. He blinked down at her a few times as she issued her orders. “You finish up the stalls, then go see if you can herd to pigs into the other barn. Don’t forget the piglets- there should be eight. The chickens will hole up in their coop during the snow- they know enough to get out of the cold- but you have to lock the coop once they’re all inside.” 

“And what are you going to do?” he asked incredulity. 

“I’m going after the horses and cattle,” she said grimly. The swoop of Reiner’s eyebrows down into a frown would’ve been comedic if the situation wasn’t so dire. 

“Like hell you are! You’ll get stuck out there!” 

“They’ll get stuck out there if I don’t go!” she retorted, leaning back from his vehemence. This was her chance to prove that she wasn’t weak- to the other soldiers and to herself. She wasn’t going to pass on this, no matter how deadly the situation. “I know where they like to hang out in the pasture, it’s not far from here.” 

“Then tell me where to go and I’ll do it!” Reiner snapped, glaring down at her. He crossed his arms over his broad chest, his tone beginning to escalate. 

“You’ll just get lost. And they know me. They won’t come to you.” Krista turned away, heading for the stables equipment room. There were plenty of horse blankets and saddle pads in there- she could borrow one for the journey. Her thoughts turned fatalistic as she weighed her chances of return. “Besides, those animals are worth more than my life to the military.”

“Well, they aren’t to me,” Reiner growled, tailing after her. She could feel her stomach flip over at his confession, but there wasn’t time for that. Every second they spent arguing was another second the animals could get lost in the drifts. She shook out a blanket and wrapped it snuggly around herself and over her head, tucking the ends into her belt so her hands still had free range, and secured a single lead around her body like a sash. Reiner’s bulky frame filled the door, heaving shoulders silhouetted by the snow outside. She paused for a moment, soaking in his concern. Slowly, she came to a stop in front of him, and placed a hand carefully on his chest as an act of reassurance. She tilted her head up to look at his shadowed face and closed expression. 

“Trust me. I’ll be back before you know it.” He searched her face for a moment, before turning slightly to allow her out of the room. A large hand closed over her elbow as she passed. 

“At least let me come with you,” he pleaded in hushed tones, molten gold eyes boring into hers. Softly shaking her head, she removed his hand. 

“Someone has to take care of the animals here. We both have jobs to do. Trust me,” she repeated, before spinning on her heel and sprinting out into the snow.   
\---

He’d let her go. Like a damned idiot, he’d let her go. Out into a fucking snow storm. Alone. What was he thinking? He allowed himself only a moment of self-loathing before turning distractedly to his assigned tasks. Krista was out there risking her life after all. The least he could do was follow her orders. 

Abandoning the last 3 stalls, he started with the chickens. The snow outside was decreasing visibility by the minute, and if it weren’t for the barns proximity, he might have gotten lost on the way. A fresh wave of panic for Krista threatened to overtake him, but he swallowed it down. Krista has asked him to trust her- he was simply going to have to. 

Their coop backed up into the second barn, making it easy to find. The hens had already taken shelter in their little house. They squawked loudly in protest when he stuck his head inside to count them, so he simply locked it down before moving onto the pigs. The pig pen was up against the other side of the barn, and the furless things were huddled together in one corner for warmth. Considering he could already feel his insides quaking with cold, he didn’t blame them.   
Each pig had a steadily increasing coating of snow on their backs. 

There wasn’t an entrance from the pen directly into the building that he could see. He’d have to take them one by one. The problem was, the pigs were big. No one had warned them that pigs were at least the size of a normal human. One was almost as big as he was. He went around to open up the barn, sighing as a gust of warm air bowled into him. The side barn was much smaller than the stables, not used for housing animals as much as it was for storage. There was only one stall, luckily not occupied by any of the boxes and barrels that lined the walls, filled with stale musty straw. That would have to do. 

Grabbing the length of rope hooked along the wall, Reiner made his way back to the pen. He’d start with the large one first. It seemed to be the leader, judging by its size and the way it shifted in front of the others to face him when he entered their space. They were cold and scared, and he had little desire to test if pigs could eat a person as well as a titan. 

Carefully, Reiner approached the largest animal, looping the rope around its neck. It snorted at him, and began to yank on the rope, quickly panicking itself and the others. Squeals stamps filled the small space, quickly lost in the echo of the frozen air. The creature dug its cloven hooves into the rapidly freezing mud, squealing when Reiner tried to tug it towards the gate. Reiner heaved, succeeding in dragging the pig to the exit, before shutting the gate on the others. Piglets screamed below the other two pigs, calling out for their missing family member. 

Reiner slumped against the stall door after he finally managed to shove the pig through behind it, exhausted. Krista had been right- the animals didn’t know him and it was proving a chore to get them to listen to him at all. Thinking of Krista churned his stomach with anxiety, and he hauled himself to his feet to finish the job she’d assigned him. We both have jobs to do rang in his ears. 

The other pigs proved easier than the first had been. They were small enough that they couldn’t yank against the rope as much, and without their leader to bolster their confidence, they followed him with little complaint. The piglets squealed like they’d been stuck as he chased them down one by one in the deepening snow, but they quieted once they were all deposited in the stall with their mother. All eight- he’d carefully counted them as he went. 

The wind picked up as he was finishing, whistling ice in through the cracks in the wooden slats. The stables almost couldn’t be seen from the barn as the snow continued the fall. Before he left for the stables, he made sure to crack open the thin sheen of ice growing ominously atop the water trough of the stall.   
\----

Wind and ice swirled around Krista as she trudged through the quickly rising snow. It was already to her ankles, without showing signs of letting up. At least they still had three more hours of daylight. Guilt gnawed at her insides as her mind flitted back to Reiner’s desperate face as she’d left. There was nothing to be done for it, though. There hadn’t been another choice. And if someone was going to sacrifice themselves, she’d rather it be her than him.

Krista tugged her makeshift blanket-coat tighter around her face, trying to avoid the sting of the icy wind. Her nose had stopped transmitting feeling fifteen minutes earlier. It would be a surprise if she still had one after this. By her estimates, she still had another few hundred meters to go before she reached the pond. Located at the other end of the pasture, the small natural pond was surrounded by a clump of trees and long cattails. It wasn’t very deep, and in the hottest parts of the year, Krista would often find several of the animals wading into the deep water to cool off. Since it was the only available water source outside of the troughs, and the only place where the trees stood close enough together to offer shade, it was a favorite of the cattle and horses alike. She just had to get there first. 

A particularly large gust of wind almost knocked her off her feet, but the resulting stumble kept her upright. She had promised Reiner she would be back. She had asked him to trust her. She had to make good on that. She continued on step by step. One foot in front of the other. 

Through the howling white swarm, she could just make out the blurred outline of trees. The sun had all but disappeared since she set out, but Krista’s had a decent internal compass, and she had allowed it to steer her way. It apparently had paid off. The pond was up ahead, and that meant the animals would be too. 

It wasn’t long before huddled masses of large shapes came into view, scattered under the tree clumps. Tails whipped furiously around their owners, and ears laid flat against their heads in an effort to stave off frostbite. The poor babies. Her heart broke for them, but she was here to fix this. She could do this. Just like any other day of leading them back inside. 

A loud snap cracked through the air, and Krista froze in place. Experimentally, she pivoted one foot. It slid, and she was rewarded with a soft crackle echoing up towards her. Dread clawed up her throat as she looked down at her feet. The pond had already began to freeze over, thin layers of spider web ice reaching out from the bank. With the snow, and her hurry to reach the animals, she hadn’t noticed that she had stumbled onto it. 

She wracked her brain to remember what she was supposed to do in this situation. This was an entirely new experience for her, but that didn’t hold true for the rest of the kids in the small farming town she came from. A boy had been sucked under the ice and drowned three years before she’d enlisted, she recalled with a grimace. What a horrible way to go, and not one she cared to emulate. 

Carefully, Krista crouched on the ice, anxiety spiking with every crunch and crack. She couldn’t be too far out into the pond, and even if she cracked through, it wasn’t deep enough to drown. At least she didn’t think so- she wasn’t exactly the tallest person. More like shortest in the whole camp. And the plunging temperature almost guaranteed she’d succumb to hypothermia before making it back if she got wet. As it was, her chances of making it back before hypothermia set in dry weren’t looking good. 

How long would Reiner wait before coming out to look for her, she wondered? 

When she reached low enough that her hands could touch the ice, she placed them down, fingers spread wide to absorb the weight she shifted to all fours. Wincing at the burn of the ice on her hands, she slid each limb forward, individually and incrementally. Left foot, right hand, left hand, right foot. Inch by inch. The ice burned, and the wind threatened to knock her off balance. 

Finally, her hands dug forward into snow drifts with hard, solid dirt below. She scrambled up the bank, chest heaving with relief. The adrenaline that had been coursing like white fire through her veins slowly dissipated. She couldn’t spend much time recovering though. The hooves stamping behind her jolted her back to the present, and she heaved herself up to standing, willing her heart to still. 

Putting two frozen fingers to her lips, Krista whistled loud and long. The few horses and cows closest to her twitched their ears and turned to stare, but the sound was lost to the wind for the rest of the animals. She could work with this though. She approached the closest horse, running her hand soothingly down it’s flank as she approached its nose. When she reached its face she almost gasped in relief, stroking the long grey face. Stormy. The biggest of the horses, and the leader of the group. The other horses would follow single file if she could get him to listen. 

“Hey, sweet boy,” she cooed, stroking his soft snout, allowing warmth to seep into her voice. “You must be so cold out here.” Carefully, she pulled the lead over her head. He started at the sight, and shied away with pawing stomps. Stormy was more temperamental than the other horses- hence the name- but he’d listened to her before. He could again. 

“Oh no you don’t,” she hummed, keeping the musical lilt. Horses didn’t know what you were saying; they only cared about tone. She raised the rope length again, and took a small step towards him. “Come on, you big baby. Let me get this lead on you. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” 

One large black eye blinked at her, ears twitching forwards and back in annoyance. She stroked his nose, shushing and cooing as she brought the rope up to his face. The eye tracked the movement. He shook his head once in defiance, but she continued patiently. With a practiced hand, she slid the rope up and over his ears without breaking contact or alerting him to it. He snorted, but didn’t yank on it when she began to walk him forward. 

This was the moment. The other animals would either follow his lead, or she’d have to try another plan. Not that she had one. Hesitantly, Stormy followed her out of the safety of the trees and into the building snow drifts. His wide hooves cut thick paths through the snow, leaving trails behind him. Krista risked a glance back behind him. 

It was working! The other animals were slowly leaving the clump of trees to follow after him, single file as they hunched against the wind. She could only make out about five back, but she could see at least one dairy cow- Annabell, it looked like- and more horses. As long as they stayed in a neat line, and followed Stormy, they would all make it back alright. Provided Stormy continued to follow her. 

The storm had already erased any trace of her original journey to the pond. She couldn’t see more than two or three meters ahead of her, although with nothing but swirling white, it was hard to tell if it was even that far. Her hands ached from the cold, but she kept them wrapped tightly around the lead rope. Mentally, she counted back. How long had she been out here? An hour? Two? It was impossible to tell without a visible sun, but she knew she had to get them back soon. If they were caught out here after the sun went down...she didn’t want to think about it. 

She trudged forward for what felt like hours, pushing her way through the snow and occasional hail. One foot in front of the other, trusting her instincts- and Stormy’s- to guide her back to the barn. On a clear day, it would’ve still been visible from the pond at the other end of the pasture. Now she could barely see her hand in front of her face, let alone the building. The horses whinnied in disapproval everytime the wind gusted and the cows bellowed in fright, but the fact that she could hear them at all was heartening. That meant they were still following her lead, at least. She hoped none of them got lost in the storm. Turning back was no longer an option. She clenched Stormy’s rope tighter. 

Step by step. One foot in front of the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Krista! Much brave! So smol! Finally some action (ish?). Action is not my strong suit. What do you think?? Feel free to comment!


	5. Chapter 5

Reiner paced just inside the closed stable’s barn door, both out of anxiety and necessity- the temperature had dropped below freezing long ago, and continued to plummet. Krista’s should’ve been back by now. By his estimation, they had maybe an hour of daylight left, although the swirling mass of clouds made that mostly guesswork. Already it was starting to dim. The option of their own return to camp had flown out the window at least the hour before. They’d never find their way back, regardless of how much daylight remained. 

He had finished mucking out the last of the three stalls, cracking through the ice layer on each water trough, ignoring the horror he felt when he had to repeat the gesture a half hour later. He hadn’t bothered a third time. He’d raided the small equipment closet he’d seen Krista use earlier for all the blankets and pads he could find. If they were staying the night here, they would have to make it work. To kill his nervous energy, he’d sorted through the sets, pulling out a dozen or so of the cleanest for himself and Krista to use later, leaving the others to use on the animals. He hoped the pigs he’d left in the other building were warm enough, but he didn’t dare risk venturing out into the storm to check. Only one thing could bring him to get lost out in the snow, and that thing was not a small gaggle of pigs. 

When it finally grew dim enough inside the stables to light the oil lamps on the walls, Reiner allowed himself to indulge in the panic threatening to suffocate him. What options did he have? He could take a lamp out there and try to find her. He would probably wander around aimlessly in the dark until he froze to death. On the off chance he did find her- and the three dozen animals she should have with her- how was he supposed to get them all back? 

...he could transform? That was always an option on the table. Of course he’d blow his cover, but Bertolt and Annie would still be safe. They could complete the mission without him. He considered for a moment abandoning his promises, imagined the weight lifting off his shoulders as her ran to Krista’s rescue. Maybe she would keep quiet about it if he did? Or maybe the others would kill her for her knowledge. Her life wasn’t worth more than their mission…

...was it? 

A quiet knock echoed through the icy air and into the stables. Reiner didn’t even bother to wonder who it could be. Sprinting to the door, he heaved it sideways as sputters of snow and ice came billowing inward. An ice-covered lump of fabric stumbled in through the door, one tiny pale hand frozen to the rope attached to a horse. Reiner gaped in awe, frozen in place, as the figure pulled the horse aside to let in...all the rest of the horses and cattle. All of them. Reiner watched as the stables quickly filled up with the shivering beasts, stomping and shuddering to warm up. Without prompting, all of the horses, save for the one still attached to it’s human, sorted themselves back into their stalls, while the handful of cattle gathered in a clump in the center of the hall. 

Reiner wasted no more time watching. He shoved the door closed again, locking it down tight before wrapping his arms around the tiny frozen bundle and pulling it close to his chest, tucked up under his chin. 

“I t-t-told you I c-could d-d-do it,” Krista mumbled into his chest, and he could feel her quaking underneath the blanket. Reiner barked out a surprised laugh, choking slightly at the end as he swallowed a sob. He hugged her tighter to him, cocking his head to rub his cheek along the top of her head, eyes squeezing shut in silent thanks. A small part of him remembered that he should be embarrassed by this sort of contact, but he was too blissfully relieved she was alive to care. He was too far gone for that. 

The horse snorting at him brought him back to the present. Gently, Reiner trailed his hand down her arm to where she clutched at the rope, still holding her close to his body. He covered her frozen hand with his, wincing at the blueish ice of her skin. He could hear a sharp sigh escape her as he made contact, causing his heart to swell. He held it there for a moment, softly rubbing it to coax the blood back into the digits before prying the rope out of her clenched fingers. Finally out of her grip, the horse made his way back to his own stall, huffing in annoyance at the delay. 

“I was about to come look for you, ya know,” Reiner admitted softly. 

“I th-thought I said t-to t-t-trust me,” she chattered, teeth clanging against each other loudly. Her shivering was ramping up violently as she slowly thawed, practically vibrating in his arms. Reiner ignored her reprimand, much more concerned with the frozen blanket cocooning her. His body heat was slowly melting the snow, leaving a heavy, damp mass of fabric that would surely chill her to the bone. She already had the precursor signs of hypothermia. 

“We have to get you out of this thing,” he scolded, and finally released her to tug at it. It came off in crisped sheets of ice, almost solid. It landed on the dirt floor with a heavy thud, leaving Krista in her uniform and coat, shuddering. Her arms wrapped around herself, shoulders curled inward as she tried in vain to warm her frigid body. 

Without thinking, Reiner scooped her up into his arms in a mirror of how he’d carried her before, pulling her close to himself. She might have made a sound in protest, but the way she curled her icy fingers into his jacket, hunching her frame into his chest let him know she needed this more. She needed him right now, and gods if the feeling wasn’t as intoxicating as it was the first time. 

“Just hang on, okay?” 

She nodded silently, face rubbing against his shirt. He waded through the cattle milling aimlessly in the hallway to the back of the stables. Her body jerked in an effort to thaw, causing her to almost jolt out of his arms more than once. When he made it to the back corner, he deposited her on the pile of clean-ish blankets he’d sorted earlier, wrapping her up in a few. Acting quickly, he pulled a few of the oil lamps off the walls and set them down in front of her, turning them up to the highest flame. It may not be much, but the meager heat would have to do. 

“If you c-can, g-get the cows in w-w-with the horses. They’ll stay w-warm-mer that w-way,” Krista suggested from her pile. Reiner could feel his mouth quirk up in response- almost dead and all she cared about was the damn animals that had put her in this state in the first place. He listened to her though- she’d been right about the pigs after all- and began herding the cattle in with the horses, one to a stall. The horses that ended up with a roommate shied away at first, but soon leaned into their new partner for warmth. The cattle, unruffled, began to eat the horses straw. 

Reiner continued to make the animals comfortable while Krista thawed in her blanket nest. She offered suggestions and issued orders as he went, and he was pleased that she was slowly losing the stutter as she warmed up. He covered the animals with blankets, broke the ice insistently creeping atop their water troughs, and distributed a small brick of alfalfa to each stall. By the time he finished, the sun had dropped below the sky and the wind was picking up, whistling into the corners of the barn. 

“Guess we aren’t making back tonight?” he asked, plopping down onto the pile of blankets next to Krista to lean against the equipment room door. She’d warmed enough to have uncovered her head, and was currently holding her tiny hands over the oil lamps. She was so small that he just wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her close to his chest. He’d been so unrestrained with himself when she’d returned, so relieved that she was alive, that he’d allowed himself to be swept away in the feeling and hold her without reserve. He felt awkward reaching out for her now. 

“You keep missing dinner because of me. I’m really sorry,” she whispered, head bowed. His chest constricted- why did she have to be so sweet? 

“Hey, it’s alright,” he said soothingly, leaning to bump his shoulder against hers, ignoring the spike of sensation trailing up his arm at the contact. “I’m a big guy, I can handle missing a meal.” 

She giggled in response, head still down. They lapsed into silence- Krista watching the lamps, Reiner watching Krista. After a moment, she glanced over at him. 

“Aren’t you cold?”

“Sure, but you have all the blankets,” he teased. Reiner ran much hotter than the average human, a small advantage of being a titan shifter. He had learned to fluctuate his temperature much more effectively as well, allowing him to mask it when he was around other humans, but at times like this it came in handy. It was certainly below freezing inside the stables. 

Krista’s eyes blew wide in apology at his statement, and immediately she began to shift around, pulling blankets out from under and around her to shove in his direction, repeating “I’m sorry” over and over again as she did. It was an adorable flurry of fabric and contrition. Reiner couldn’t help but laugh when one smacked him in the face. He tugged it away, chuckling, and wrapped it around his shoulders to appease her before settling backward against the door again, arms propped up on bent knees. However, when her last layer fell away, she almost double over at the violence of the shaking that overtook her. 

“Hey, watch it! You haven’t been thawing long enough for that!” Reiner scolded, and quickly reached over to tug the blanket back up over her shoulder, allowing his hand to brush indulgently over her arm as he did so. Despite the layers separating him from her bare skin, she shuddered in relief. 

“You’re so warm,” she moaned, cheeks pinkening at her tone. It sounded so breathless and wanton and totally wrong coming from her lips. Reiner felt his face heat to mirror hers, and bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood to remain focused. His eyes widened as she shyly scooted closer to him, eyes darting anywhere but his. 

“Do you mind...if I…?” She hesitated, clenching her blanket around her, face flushing darker by the minute. A small finger poked through the blanket to gesture between the two of them. Reiner felt his breath leave him as he stared at her blankly, brain short circuiting. He blinked at her owlishly with wide eyes. He could feel his jaw unhinge in what he was certain was a comical gape. There was no way she meant...

“I-it’s okay if you aren’t alright with that! It’s just that I’m so cold, and you’re so warm, and it’s only going to get colder and...” She bit her lip at his stunned silence and looked down, crestfallen. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I’ll be fine.” 

Panic flooded Reiner as he watched his opportunity disappearing like sand through his fingers. She was throwing herself in his lap- literally!- and because he couldn’t seem to restart his brain, he was going to lose this chance. 

“N-no it’s okay!” It came out as a strangled sort of sound, but he managed to get the words out at least. 

Her face cracked into a wide smile as she fingered the edge of the blanket anxiously. With halting motions, she crawled towards him over the blanket pile, eyes darting between his face and the ground. Reiner was frozen in place, watching her with silent apprehension, as if moving might make her change her mind. 

Krista hesitated when she was close enough to touch him, sitting back on her heels, as though considering how best to approach, blushing furiously. Reiner was sure his face matched hers, but he was determined to let her do this. His fingers itched to reach out and tug her to him. Abruptly, she turned around and scooted herself backwards between his legs until her back bumped up against his chest. She sighed contentedly when they made contact, spiking Reiner’s heart rate. Her head came up to his collarbone, and he could feel her wiggle against him to get comfortable. She was so close and she smelled so good...so soft, rubbing herself against him... Reiner swallowed hard. If she kept moving against him like that…

To prevent an embarrassing situation, Reiner wrapped his arms tight around her to stop her from moving, looking up to the ceiling in despair. How did he get himself into this mess? Oh right. He had feelings for the fucking enemy.   
\---

“Are you sure this is okay?” Krista asked, chewing on her lip. She could feel how rigidly Reiner was sitting behind her, with a ramrod straight spine, but his long arms were wrapped snugly around her and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to bring herself to leave the warm embrace, even if he asked her to. She was just so cold and his heat seeped into her, deliciously warm. She didn’t want to think about the fact that the identity of the person’s arms might have some bearing on her preference as well. Her adrenaline had spiked when she’d touched him and her heart had yet to settle its erratic tattoo. 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Reiner coughed. Krista tilted her head backward to look up at him, but all she could see was his corded throat and square jaw as he stared at the ceiling. 

“You seem very uncomfortable.” 

Reiner gave a short bark of a laugh at that and glanced down at her for a moment, before back up at the ceiling. His frame relaxed a bit, allowing her to sink farther back against his warm chest, his fingers curling tighter around her. Her stomach flopped over pleasantly at the contact. From her angle directly below him, she could see his thin lips quirked up into a smirk. 

“I’ll survive.” 

“I wonder how long it’ll take anyone to miss us?” 

“I’m sure Ymir noticed you were missing a few hours ago,” Reiner replied, and Krista lowered her head back down to ponder at the slight bitterness in his tone. While Ymir wasn’t exactly friendly with anyone in the camp except her (and sometimes not even her), she didn’t think they had a specific issue with each other. She couldn’t recall them ever even having a conversation. 

“Do you not like Ymir?” Krista asked curiously. Reiner gave a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders that she felt rather than saw. “She is rather protective,” Krista granted. “What about you though? You’re always with Bertolt, and the other boys will definitely notice you’re missing!” 

“What do you mean?” Reiner sounded confused, and she wished she could see his face. Pressing up against him like this was providing her a quick lesson in his body language. 

“Well, it’s obvious they look up to you. The other boys always talk about you like you’re their leader or big brother or something.” When he didn’t reply, Krista dropped her head back to look up at him again. He was staring straight ahead, arched brows drawn down over narrowed, fiery eyes, lost in thought. “I’m sorry. Should I have not said that?” 

Reiner didn’t answer. They sat in silence for several minutes, punctuated by the snuffling and munching of the horses as they enjoyed their dinner. Krista was jealous. They’d only had that small snack to hold them over until they could make it out of there. As though summoned by the mere thought, her stomach growled loudly. Reiner snickered at the noise. 

“Getting hungry?” 

“Yes...I bet dinner is already over by now…” Krista mused. 

“Are you sure there isn’t anything we could eat out here?” Reiner asked, and Krista looked thoughtfully around the stables, contemplating his question. 

“Well...the only animals that eat food a human could eat are the pigs, and they’ve already been fed. Not that we’d want what they get anyways.” The pigs were fed on the soldiers scraps collected after meals. “If it were spring there would be a small carton of apples for the horses, but they’ve all been taken for us trainees with winter approaching.” She glanced at the snowflakes wisping in through the barn door edges. “Arrived,” she amended.

“Didn’t you bring in those eggs from the hens earlier? What about them?” 

Krista bolted up from his lap in alarm. The eggs! She’d completely forgotten about them! The hens had produced five beautiful eggs, and she’d just left the basket in the stables before rushing out to rescue the animals in the snow storm. That meant they’d still be here! 

She scrambled up from her seated position, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself, already regretting the sudden loss of heat from abandoning Reiner. The basket was still where she had left it, directly under the ladder. All of the eggs were present and accounted for. Carrying her loot carefully back to the blanket pile, she sat down on the edge next to the small collection of oil lamps. The lamps had brass bases, with a key turn to adjust the flame, and tall, gradually shrinking glass hoods atop them. One by one, she pulled the first few eggs out the basket and placed them on the top of the glass, where they sat precariously, the top half sticking up and out. Reiner pushed himself off of the wall and came to sit next to her, watching her movements intently. Krista scooted a tad closer to him when he sat, unable to resist the body heat he emitted. A shock ran up her arm and down her spine at the contact, landing pleasurably deep in her stomach. 

“What’re you doing?” 

“Cooking them, silly. Did you want to eat them raw?” she giggled, watching closely as the underbelly of the eggs started to darken. She caught the bemused look Reiner shot her way out the corner of her eye and winked at him, enjoying the slight blush that stained his cheeks in response. The power rush that causing his blushes gave her was quickly becoming addicting. Making him blush had to mean something...she couldn’t recall seeing him blush around anyone else. When the color bordered into black, she gently flipped them upside down and placed them back atop the lamp. 

“I’ve never seen anyone cook eggs like that before,” Reiner wondered, and Krista couldn’t help a small surge of satisfaction curling warmly in her chest. To be able to show someone as capable as Reiner something he’d never seen before gave her unexpected pride in her upbringing.

“I had to learn how to feed myself when I was really young. Who I grew up with...sometimes they forgot about me, so I learned a few tricks,” she explained, carefully tiptoeing around details. She knew that was more information than she should be giving him. Finding herself drawn to him was no excuse for letting down her guard. 

“I’m sorry,” Reiner responded quietly after a pause. “I know what it’s like to be hungry.”

Rather than answer, Krista nodded solemnly. Everyone knew hunger since Wall Maria was invaded. You’d have to be a noble to not have noticed the difference, and birth status didn’t spare them all. 

It didn’t spare her. 

She mentally edged away from the uncomfortable train of thought. With careful hands, she pulled the eggs off the glass lamp tops and placed them steaming on back into the basket before starting over again with the next round. 

“You should eat them before they get cold,” she advised when Reiner didn’t move. He glanced over at her and then back at the eggs. 

“..How?” 

Krista laughed at that, covering her mouth with her hand, eyes dancing with mirth. She loved the little furrow in his brow where his brows drew together in confusion. Taking pity on him, she pulled one out and scratched the shell with her nail until it cracked. 

“When you cook them like this, it’s kind of like hard boiled eggs, just without the water. So you just peel off the shell, and eat them.” She demonstrated the technique and took a bite out of the top, eyes closing as she munched happily. The telltale sound of egg shell crunching let her know Reiner was mimicking her process. She quickly popped the rest of the egg into her mouth and went back to tending the ones still cooking. 

“Hey, this is good,” Reiner said, surprised, as he bit into his egg. 

“Everything tastes better when you’re hungry,” Krista hedged, secretly pleased with the compliment. 

“No, but these are really good!” he exclaimed, polishing it off and reaching for his second in one fluid motion. 

Krista pulled the last two eggs off of the lamps and added them to the basket, taking her second egg. They ate quickly and quietly, happily crunching through their small meal. Reiner had hesitated about taking his third egg, since that would leave her with only two, but she insisted. While she wasn’t full after two, her stomach was no longer clawing at her insides, and she knew she could last the night. He’d still pulled it apart before eating to give her another bite. Reiner was thoughtful with her, she noticed with giddy fascination. Sweet and thoughtful.   
\---

Reiner’s blood had spiked when he noticed Krista yawn widely, clearly exhausted. They’d both settled into companionable silence after they finished eating, her watching the horses, wrapped in two blankets, him leaned back against the wall, a blanket slung around his shoulders as he sat cross-legged. Her gaping mouth reminded him of the very real fact that he and Krista would be spending the night trapped in here. Together. Alone. And if their earlier contact hadn’t clued him into their impending sleeping situation, her visible shivering returning would have. Regardless of his feelings for her- and he was beyond admitting that he most certainly had feelings for her- they were going to freeze in here if they didn’t spend the night in close proximity to each other. A fact that made his heart thump so loudly in his chest he was sure she could hear it. 

“We should probably get to sleep,” he offered in what he hoped was a nonchalant way. She didn’t seem to notice his anxiety, just nodded sleepily in agreement. “How...uhh...how would you like to do that?” 

Krista seemed to register what he meant, snapping to attention, cheeks staining with pink. They were sitting on a mass of blankets, and they would need at least a few under them given the hard dirt floor of the stables. He didn’t mind sleeping sitting up, he’d done it plenty of times, but he wasn’t sure how Krista preferred to sleep. He felt his own face color at the thought. He’d get to sleep near her tonight. Maybe even with...

“W-what do you mean?” Krista asked nervously and Reiner almost groaned. Of course she was going to make him say it. Suck it up. Emboldened by their earlier cuddling and lack of another option, Reiner decided to lean into it. He desperately wanted her close to him again anyways. Reiner was supposed to be a soldier now. Weren’t soldiers supposed to be brave? Wasn’t he? 

Before he could think better of it, Reiner reached out and pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She squeaked in surprise, but arranged herself comfortably after he settled her against him, sending thrills of white hot adrenaline into his blood like ice. It ached. Brave, brave, brave. She sat with her left side pressed against his chest, both legs draped over his thigh. She came up to right below his chin in this position, and he took full advantage, resting his head on top of hers. 

“This is what I mean,” he murmured, eyes closing contentedly. He could be ok with this, if this was all he got, he told himself. He could be alright if all he had was tonight, to tuck her up against him and care for her. He hadn’t gotten the feel of her out of his mind since he’d carried her back to camp weeks ago, the sensation plaguing him ever since. The tightness he’d carried in his chest since that night slowly unfurled as he held her close. “Can you sleep like this?” 

Krista hummed her approval, nodding, and he could feel her cheek rub against his shirt as she did so. She pressed herself closer to him, and he gently rubbed his hands up and down her exposed arm and leg, careful not to stray too far south or north respectively, until her shivering dissipated. A few minutes after the shivering ceased, her breathing evened out as she slipped off to sleep. 

Reiner held her close as she slept, careful to moderate his breathing so as not to wake her. She was too pure and kind for him- he knew that deep in his warrior soul. But if he could hold her, just for tonight, that could sustain him through the years ahead. He could live with himself if he could just have this. With that thought in his mind, he drifted off to join her in sleep. 

That’s how they woke the next morning, curled around each other, sleeping more soundly than either of them had in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, but I'm sure not the last time I'm late to an update. Only one day late though, so not too shabby...what do you think?? This chapter was by FAR my favorite to write so far, I had a BLAST with it! I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	6. Chapter 6

Reiner woke first, blinking sleepily in the early morning haze. Dim light was streaming through the wooden slats in the wall, the air chilled and thin. Reiner blinked a few moments, getting his bearings. He was in the stables- he could hear the animals snoring softly, a few snuffling as they woke for the day. It was early morning still- he and Krista had been snowed in the night before...Krista!

Reiner glance down at the sleeping girl in his lap, wondering at his luck. The tiny blonde was curled up against his chest, hair mussed around one half of her face, mouth slightly agape as she dreamed. Seizing the moment, he ran his hands experimentally down her exposed sides, wincing at the chill. Sometime during the night, they had tugged more blankets up and over themselves, but they were no match against the persistent, silent snow storm that raged outside. 

The part of her that was pressed up against him was still warm at least- he had raised his body temperature as high as he dared without alerting her to the oddity of it, to both their benefits. He continued to gently trail his hands up and down, slowly warming up the other side of her, careful to not wake her. She had worked harder then both of them the day before by far- she deserved the sleep. 

He found himself drifting into daydreams as he waited patiently. Dreams of waking next to her, curled around her petite form danced through his mind. If Krista was his, he could hold her like this every night. In his dream, a gold band as dainty as she was adorned her finger, and she called him _husband_. The quiet moments between sleeping and waking were perfect for these sort of thoughts. 

The problem was, however, that his legs had transformed during the night from flesh to marble, cold and unfeeling. Asleep, he hadn’t noticed that the limbs had joined him in his slumber, but now that he was awake it was beginning to ache. He wasn’t entirely sure how long Krista tended to sleep in the morning, but if it wasn’t soon, he was going to have to attempt to move her. That was not his preferable option. 

As though on cue, she stirred. Her small hands fisted in his shirt, clenching and unclenching subconsciously as her eyes blinked open sleepily. Clear blue eyes darted up to meet his, a shy smile spreading on her face. Gods, she was beautiful. 

“Hi,” she whispered. 

“Hi,” he whispered back. 

Reiner’s relief was palpable as she clambered off his lap. Sharp pricks of pain dotted up his legs as he straightened them, rubbing his thighs to get the blood flowing again. Krista gasped. 

“Oh no! Did your legs fall asleep?” She bit her lip anxiously, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I didn’t even notice ‘til you got up,” Reiner offered with a smile that she didn’t return. It was a small lie, but worth it to watch the tension leave her shoulders. They were awkward this morning, more careful around each other, Reiner noticed. It bothered him. It felt like an itch he couldn’t scratch- annoying and persistent- but he wasn’t sure how to go about remedying it. 

Krista had turned away from him, carefully pulling blankets up from the ground and folding them. The lamps had burnt out sometime during the night, unused to the amount of oil required for such a prolonged use. Horses stirred at her presence, leaning long necks and large heads out of the stall windows to watch her work. Reiner felt resentment burn in the back of his throat at the day beginning. It was stealing her away from him already. 

With a grimace, he pushed himself off the door, opening it to allow Krista to place the now neatly folded stack of blankets inside. Reiner busied himself as well to avoid the awkwardness. He replaced the oil lamps in their holders along the walls- Krista wouldn’t have been tall enough to reach them anyways. They took turns feeding and watering the animals. Slowly, as they worked around each other, the uncomfortable air that had settled since she’d left his arms filtered out. Working together was familiar and reassuring. They did it all the time. 

“If we hurry, we can make it back before breakfast,” Reiner offered. “Assuming we can make it back at all.” 

“I’m almost afraid to look out there,” Krista admitted. She tucked the blanket into her straps like she had the day before, brows drawn down in a serious expression. Reiner couldn’t help but laugh. 

“You look like your going to battle,” he remarked and her expression softened incrementally. 

“You weren’t out there yesterday. It was a battle.”

The reminder stung, even if it felt accurate. The memory of letting her leave without him was still too fresh in his mind. Shaking his head to banish to creep of self loathing, Reiner went to the barn door and braced himself to open it. 

“Ready?” 

Krista nodded to him, and squared her shoulders, ready to face the outside. With a grunt, Reiner shouldered the door open. Arms strained with effort as the snow and ice clinging to the outside cracked and buckled to allow the movement. Clear, bright sunlight spilled into the barn accompanied by an icy chill, and the horses snorted and pawed in protest. Overnight, the storm had fled, leaving crystal blue skies and three feet of snow. The fields between them and the now visible barracks sparkled bright white, harshly shimmering in the early morning glow. 

“It was that close the whole time?” Reiner asked incredulously, staring at the barracks a few hundred meters away. He could make out the small forms of soldiers beginning their day in the ice. 

“It’s not like we could’ve made it back anyways. I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face out there,” Krista remarked grimly, and Reiner cocked his head at her stoicism. It was usually him who radiated solemnity, but she looked more serious than he’d ever seen her. With a ramrod straight spine, she walked up to the wall of snow, glaring at the top where it stopped just below her collarbone. She kicked it experimentally, watching the small amount of snow cascade into the barn. With a growl of frustration, she reached out with her arms and tried to part the top of the snow, only succeeding in loosening it in place. Reiner bit down on a snicker, watching her try to navigate the snow enough to squeeze her petite frame through. 

“What’re you doing?” 

Krista rounded on him, cheeks pinkening from the cold, exertion, and he suspected a small amount of embarrassment. 

“I’m trying to take a step outside. What does it look like I’m doing?” she cried, small chest heaving. Seeing her so worked up was too much for Reiner to resist. The sharp bark of laughter escaped his lips before he could stop it. She watched him with incredulity as he doubled over, shoulders bouncing in amusement. 

“Are you laughing at me?” she asked, her voice shrill. 

He took in deep gulps of air in between his guffaws, eyes squeezing shut to allow a few tears to escape as he gripped his aching sides. She was the funniest thing he’d seen in months. 

“That’s really mean, Reiner!” 

He stopped himself short of landing on his ass backward, wiping away the tears as his mirth dissipated. It was sort of mean, but he couldn’t help it. She was just too cute when frustrated. It wasn’t an emotion he had seen on her before, but he found he liked it. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry.” He held up his hands in supplication. “You’re right, that was mean.” 

Krista frowned at him, crossing her arms. “It’s rude to laugh at someone.” 

“Hey, I said I was sorry! I shouldn’t have laughed.” She huffed at him, but dropped her arms, turning back to the snow in question. Reiner came to stand next to her, surveying the problem. The snow only came up to just below his hips. While it wouldn’t be pleasant, he could walk through it if he had to. 

“I just don’t know how were going to make it over there. We can’t shovel the whole way?” 

Reiner watched as she worried her bottom lip with her teeth. The answer was a simple one in his mind. While he was sure she would complain, he couldn’t help the thrill the idea sent up his spine. Grinning, he turned and bent his knees, jerking a thumb at his back. 

“Hop on,” he said, watching her reaction over his shoulder. She held up her hands, waving them nervously back and forth, eyes darting around the room. 

“O-oh no..I couldn’t,” she hedged, taking a step backwards. 

“Well I don’t see another option, do you?” he quipped, quirking an eyebrow her way. 

“You could come back for me?” 

“That’d take twice as long.”

“I can just follow behind you?” Krista tried again, and Reiner fought the urge to gloat as she grasped at straws. 

“I won’t be shoveling the snow and forming a path so much as wading through it. I don’t think anyone could follow me except Bertolt.” 

“But I...surely you…we can...” she stammered, lost for words. There wasn’t really an argument to be had. They had to make it back to the training camp, and soon. Enough trouble was already waiting for them. The snow was too high for her and it wasn’t for Reiner. And he’d already carried her a few times before, each and every occasion catalogued neatly in his mind. He watched her flounder around for an excuse for a few minutes before finally relenting. 

She scrambled up his back, small elbows and footholds digging into his flesh as she gripped his straps for support. Reaching up, Reiner grasped her wrist in his hand and helped pull her up. She molded around his body, pressing into his back, thighs hiked up around his sides. He felt her breath hitch when his hands slid down to grip just behind her knees to hold her in place. Striving for nonchalance to hide the blood pounding in his veins, he jostled her higher, causing her hands to tighten around his chest as she let out a breathless squeak. 

“Comfortable?” he asked, trying to steady his voice. He felt, rather than saw her nod behind him. Every nerve in his body was on fire, sending constant updates about her proximity streaking into his brain. It was distracting. After tugging the heavy stable door closed again, he began the long trek back to camp through the snow.  
\---

Krista wasn’t entirely sure when it had become normal for Reiner to cart her around, but she had yet to get used to it, even if it didn’t seem to phase him. It was equal parts embarrassing and exhilarating. She was grateful for his warmth as he plowed through the snow, and found herself clinging to him tighter. This close she could smell his spicy, crisp scent, like pine needles. 

He hadn’t been wrong about the ease of their journey. Every snowdrift he barreled through was simply churned up instead of pushed to the side, a fact that would’ve had her veritably swimming along behind him had she chosen to walk. And while it only came up to the tops of his thighs, it would’ve almost swallowed her up. She tried not to grumble about it too much- short jokes were not fun for her, but Reiner’s giant height certainly came in handy in moments like these. 

It took three quarters of an hour before they made it back to the camp. The trainees had been all sent out with shovels to clear paths in the camp between the buildings before breakfast. Once he stumbled into a cleared area, Reiner let her down gently. A few of the closest shovelers stopped their work to gape at the couple. Krista felt her face heat, stomach churning uncomfortably. 

As they made their way through the camp, bedraggled and exhausted, more recruits stopped their work to gawk at them. Some pointed, a few whispered. The further they walked, the tighter the knots in her belly wound. 

“Think they noticed we were missing?” Reiner whispered, glancing around nervously. Krista watched as an assistant dropped their shovel in place and took off running for command. She winced. 

“I’d say they noticed.” 

“BRAUN! LENZ!” 

Krista flinched at the sound of her voice screamed at her, and watched as Instructor Shadis exited the command building, hands on his hips. Reiner had snapped to attention at the sound, broad shoulders straightening and fist coming to his chest to form a salute. Hurridley, Krista copied him. 

Heavy footsteps echoed into the courtyard as he walked down the stairs, dramatically slow. Dragging out a punishment was a speciality of his. Each step rang loudly in her ears as she listened to her doom approach, choking on her dread. Finally, he came to a stop in front of them, and put his hands behind his back, glaring down at them severely. He was of height with Reiner, but he somehow still managed to sneer down his nose at them both. 

“Do you want to tell me where you two were all night?” 

“The stables, sir,” Krista answered meekly. A small crowd of recruits were gathering around to watch the public evisceration. She could recognize Connie and Sasha up close, nudging each other. Eren and Armin watched with wide eyes from her side. Annie stood off behind the rest, eyes narrowed as she watched the events unfold with aloof detachment. Other sets of eyes behind her and to the sides where she couldn’t see pierced her back. She wanted to melt into a puddle of mortification. 

“The stables? Huh.” Instructor Shadis stroked his beard, pretending to think about it for a moment, before rounding on Reiner. “AND WHAT were you doing out there?” 

“We were securing the livestock before the storm, sir,” he replied calmly, not a tremor in his voice. Krista felt another spark of admiration for Reiner- she was terrified. 

“And were you ASSIGNED to that job?” Silence stretched as the Instructor stared Reiner down. Krista could feel the tension thicken in the air as the moments ticked by. Reiner tellingly kept his silence. “That’s what I thought.” 

“It’s my fault, sir!” Krista couldn’t believe she was speaking up. Her voice quavered high and thin in her ears, but she’d said the words all the same. She felt Reiner stir beside her, but neither of them moved. It was her fault he was in this mess in the first place. She wouldn’t let him take the blame. “I asked him to help me.” 

She clamped down on a squeak as he stooped to her level, dangerous eyes glaring into hers. He was deadly quiet as he addressed her. “And why would you do that?” 

“I knew that I couldn’t finish my work before the storm came, so I asked for his help. We got snowed in before we could make it back to camp, sir. We had no choice but to stay put.” 

“Well, if working in the stables is too much work for you, I’ll have to remember that you shouldn’t be assigned that job,” he sneered, and Krista fought the urge sob. Her stomach fell to her feet, hot tears pricking in the back of her eyes. Working with the animals was the best, and perhaps only, thing she liked about being here. If he took that away...she’d have nothing left. 

“You can’t do that!” Reiner burst out angrily. Shadis rounded on him. The recruits watching gasped, and began to mutter among themselves. Annie was the only recruit who didn’t respond, other than a slight widening of her eyes as she watched the exchange. Krista risked a glance up at him as Reiner schooled his tone before continuing through clenched teeth. “Shouldn’t. Sir.” 

The Instructor straightened to address him, hands coming to fold behind his back. “Oh, really? Please, enlighten me.” 

“She’s the only reason we still have any livestock at all. When the storm, hit all the cattle and horses were out in the storm. Krista ventured out alone into the blizzard and successfully retrieved all three dozen animals. Without her, the military would’ve lost them. We were trapped overnight because she refused to give up on them, sir.” 

“Hmm…” Shadis stared at him, processing his words. Anxiety churned in Krista’s gut as the silence stretched. Reiner had defended her bravely, and at his own peril, but even the warm butterflies the thought elicited couldn’t stop the surge of terror as the seconds ticked by. The trainees stilled as they waited, anticipating the coming end. 

Instructor Shadis bent violently at the waist, smacking his head hard into Reiner’s with an audible thunk. Krista winced at the sound, but Reiner merely grunted at the impact. 

“The two of you will DIG a loop around the camp perimeter. Then you will run it until dinner,” he announced, and spun on his heel. He paused to glance back over one shoulder. “Consider yourselves lucky. I’ve dismissed recruits for less.” 

Krista shoulders sagged- in relief or dismay, she couldn’t decide. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Reiner reach up to rub the bridge of his nose, hissing quietly. The present members of the 104th cadets swarmed the two of them, while the other soldiers went back to their work, satisfied with their now concluded entertainment. 

“Man, I thought you guys were done for!” Connie cried, eyes wide with shock. Sasha nodded vigorously. 

“It was really brave of you to stand up for Krista like that,” Eren said, tone filled with admiration. A few nodded in agreement, and Reiner rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

“Very brave,” Annie quipped sarcastically, and Krista watched Reiner’s eyes flash in her direction. Krista felt her chest swell with indignation, and was about to jump to Reiner’s defense when a strong, slender arm wrapped itself around her neck and tugged her backwards. 

“I wondered where you were all night. Thought you’d dropped into a snow drift,” Ymir laughed. Cold, dismissive eyes glanced up to meet Reiners. “Thanks for picking her up for me.” 

His shoulders stiffened and Krista felt Ymir’s grip on her tighten in response. “She saved herself. I had nothing to do with it.” 

“Did you really get trapped in the barn overnight?” Sasha asked, oblivious to the silent showdown. 

“On _accident_ or on _purpose_?” Connie ribbed her and the group burst into laughter, causing both Reiner and Krista’s cheeks to flame. 

“On accident of course!” Krista squeaked, while Ymir laughed loudly in her ear. 

“My girl would never want to get trapped in there on purpose. Unless it’s with me of course!” 

Krista cringed- Ymir’s declarations would never cease in making her uncomfortable, but she knew that was just how her friend was. When she’d joined the military, she’d been so relieved to have a friend at all that she hadn’t questioned it. But now she had other friends like Sasha and Reiner...but Ymir still stayed doggedly close. 

“ _Ymir_ ,” Krista whined, embarrassed, and tried to extradite herself from her grip, but Ymir clamped down tighter. 

“What?” 

Reiner cleared his throat loudly and the group turned to look at him, but his eyes were trained on Ymir. “Krista and I should get started on our work before the Instructor catches us talking.” 

There was a moment of silence were Ymir and Reiner just stared at each other before Ymir removed her arm from around Krista. 

“Yeah, sure. Don’t work too hard,” Ymir laughed in her ear before sauntering off back to her shovel. The rest of the group dispersed as well, and Reiner and Krista went to retrieve some shovels.  
\---

Luckily, they spent most of the day digging. They started in tandem at first, but Krista felt her strength waning quickly. She sagged onto the shovels handle more than a few times until Reiner suggested they take turns. He insisted she take a break while he worked first, allowing Krista a chance to admire his broad, muscular shoulders while he shoveled. It was a sight to see- he was strong as an ox, and had the endurance and work ethic to match. And it also set the butterflies alight in her stomach, a feeling she was quickly finding addicting. 

“I think it’s time to switch,” Krista said from her perch on the newly unearth dirt. Beads of sweat were crystallizing on the back of Reiner’s thick neck, and she could see his breathing increase in the the fog his pants were creating in the frigid air. 

“Nah, I got it. You rest.” He continued to shovel at the same steady pace. 

“I think I’ve rested enough. Let me have a turn,” she insisted, but he continued on doggedly. 

“I’m not tired. Honest.” 

Krista stood and, ignorant to anything but the rhythm of the shovel, he didn’t notice. With a small hop, Krista latched her hands onto his shoulders and tugged him down backward. He landed on his rear end with a plop in the dirt, a look of surprised bemusement on his face. Reiner sheepishly relinquished the shovel into her outstretched palm and took a much needed rest while she worked. She knew she wasn’t actually strong enough to force him to do anything, regardless of how tired he was, but it was sweet he was allowing her to maintain the charade. 

It was only a few hours before dinner by the time they actually began to run. Neither of them had, had a full meal since breakfast the day before and it showed. They limped along with sputtering steps, breath fogging as they just focused on putting one foot in front of the other. They passed encouragements and complaints back and force with between stilted breaths. With no one there to monitor them, they took frequent breaks whenever the trail ran behind a building, collapsing onto the ground, and sometimes into each other, to cough out a lung. Hunger gnawed inside Krista’s stomach, scratching at the last vestiges of strength she had left over from the meager dinner they’d scraped the night before. 

Their legs were jelly by the time the dinner bell rang, and black spots danced at the edges of Krista’s vision. They staggered up to the mess hall together, exhausted and starving. Krista paused at the entrance, worrying her lip as she scanned the tables. Ymir was sitting at their usual spot, but she had yet to note her entrance with her back to the door. 

“...would you like to sit with me tonight?” Krista asked in a small voice, eyes still trained on the back of Ymir’s head. She felt the weight of Reiner’s gaze on her, and she tore her eyes away to meet his. Molten gold churned in his irises as he studied her face, searching for motivations. She knew there would be hell to pay later for ditching Ymir, but she ate with her almost every meal. And besides, after almost 40 hours straight spent in his presence, Krista didn’t feel like parting from Reiner. Not quite yet. 

Silently, he nodded, and they made their way to a neutral table together. A dozen pairs of eyes watched them as they sat and began their meal in forced nonchalance. They ignored them. 

They knew it better than anyone. Things were changing between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love me some drama! Can you smell it coming?? OOO oo the conflict! What do you think? I want to hear your thoughts! And thanks for continuing to indulge me. ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Breakfast was Reiner’s most important meal of the day. The fact that this also held true for everyone else made no difference to him. They didn’t all have the same fervor for breakfast that he did. Their stomachs didn’t coil with anticipation at the mere thought. Other people didn’t spring out of bed and rush to get ready simply to make it to breakfast early (although he might share that trait with Sasha). No, he felt that he alone found breakfast the most important. That’s because Krista now ate breakfast with him every morning. 

It had started after the blizzard. The camp had accumulated several feet of snow overnight, and despite their public and harsh punishment, some of the other instructors had privately let them know that command had thought them dead when they didn’t return. That none of the livestock had been lost during the storm was another personal victory for the two, and had ensured Krista’s swift and immediate return to livestock duty. It was viewed as something of a miracle by the other soldiers. 

Reiner was quick to give Krista credit, which had only bolstered her popularity in the ranks. This had led to a whole new problem- too many friends. She had been a quiet and kind person before her daring rescue, but now she was catapulted to 104th cadet corps fame. The girls had sought her out as their sparring partner, and asked her advice during their riding lessons. Reiner had overheard Armin admitting that he’d never noticed how pretty she was to Eren. Jean had loudly bragged to Marco that he was sure he could get Krista to take him along next time she needed extra help with the animals ‘if you know what I mean’. No one did. 

Krista had so many more friends vying to sit with her during meals that Ymir had given up trying to stop them, opting to sit and sulk instead. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise then that Krista was starting to eat breakfasts with Reiner, since she was eating with so many other people, but it certainly surprised him. And it had continued to shock him for the first weeks as she continued to do so. The novelty had worn off, but the excitement hadn’t and he found himself actively looking forward to each day. He had even began to retrieve two meals before he sat down so he was already prepared for her arrival. 

He was sitting at his usual bench seat- three up from the entrance and to the left- with breakfast in tow when Krista came in. It was still dark out, the sky only just beginning to bleed into purple as the weepy late winter sun rose. Only a few other soldiers milled around the room, plopping tiredly into chairs and rubbing sleepy eyes with fists as they reached for their breakfast. And she was a ray of golden sunlight streaming into the room when she breezed in. She bounced when she walked, like she was about to spread wings and take flight, and he loved that about her. Reiner loved everything about her, but that was maybe his favorite. 

Ymir trailed in behind her like the storm cloud she was, and glowered at him before sulking off to her own table in the corner. She never joined them for breakfast, although she did shoot daggers their way the entire time. Neither did she attempt to stop Krista, preferring to silently suffer. Reiner wondered what Krista had done to prompt this change in behavior, but he didn’t question it for fear of ruining his good graces. 

“Good morning Reiner!” Krista chirped, sliding into place across from him. She beamed up at him, and he felt his face crack into a smile in response. Her glow was contagious. 

“Morning Krista. How’d you sleep?” 

She shrugged in nonchalance and reached for her bowl. As winter dragged on, they more and more had leftovers from the night before reheated as their breakfast. Today is was day old leek broth with rye bread. Krista wrinkled her nose as she smelled it, and dug her fingers into the bread instead. The crust cracked audibly as she tore it apart. 

“I can’t wait for spring. I miss having fresh food,” she sighed and dipped a piece of bread into the liquid. 

“We can’t have too much longer right? We’re in the back half of winter now anyways,” Reiner replied and gestured out the window. The snow that had blown in during the blizzard had stayed and grown, but the winter solstice had long since come and gone. Soon, the snow would begin to slough off in melting ice sheets. At least he hoped it was soon. The weak sunlight peeking through the windows spider webbed with ice illustrated his point quite nicely. 

“Maybe...I don’t know how long the snows last down here,” she mused, watching the window change from pale yellow to bright orange, like the stained glass of the wallist churches. She appeared lost in thought, and Reiner seized his chance. She didn’t speak about her past often, and he was hungry for every detail of her. As far as he could tell, she’d answer him honestly, if vaguely. Even if he couldn’t say the same. As a soldier, Reiner had no secrets from her at least. Small mercies. He was beginning to prefer himself as a soldier. 

“Down here?” 

Her eyes snapped from the window to his, flashing with panic before falling down to her meal. 

“I was raised...farther north,” she hedged, and hurriedly stuffed a piece of broth soaked bread into her mouth. His eyebrows raised, both at her reaction and the thought. Krista, the snow angel. No wonder the snow storm hadn’t scared her. He felt a swell of appreciation for her bravery and tucked into his own meal to hide it. 

“You came from a resettlement camp, right?” he pressed on gently. He knew he should stop, but he found himself hungrier for information about her than his poor excuse for a breakfast. She perked slightly at this line of questioning. Slowly, he was learning how to speak with her, and how to get her to speak to him. 

“Yeah, that’s right. It was right north of Stohess.” 

“Wow that is north! So that’s why you’re fearless in the face of the snow,” he teased and her smile returned in full force. Blinding. She opened her rosebud lips to respond. 

The door banging open and swinging back into the wall loudly prevented her from answering. A steady stream of cadets began to filter through, bundled from the cold, ignorant to the rapid temperature drop they were facilitating with the open door. Bertolt and Annie wandered through a few feet away from each other, both eyes darting to his place across from Krista. This was no longer a surprise to them, but he felt his face darken just the same -in shame or anger, he could no longer tell. Bertolt cut him a look, pleading and sharp, while Annie let her eyes drift up and over him in disdain as though he wasn’t worthy of her attention. Reiner knew better. 

They were both concerned and wary at this change in his habits. Angry, even. He had so far avoided the worst of their scolding, but that was about to change. Annie had been on an excursion the night before, judging by the deep bruise-like purple circles staining her skin beneath her eyes. The snow had been cleared off enough roads to allow her to enter the cities again. They would have to meet behind the woodshed tonight for a debriefing. He would no longer be able to ignore them. 

Oblivious to the traitorous machinations swirling around her, Krista continued on with her answer. Reiner missed it, too distracted by his entering comrades to hear her, and when his eyes drifted back to her, she was blinking expectantly at him. 

“...I’m sorry. I didn’t catch that,” he spluttered, embarrassed by his slip. Distracted from his distraction. The light in her eyes cooled, but she waved him off just the same. 

“It wasn’t important. What’s your duty today?” 

“Why? Need some help?” Reiner raised his eyebrow at her in what he hoped was a flirtatious fashion. While she was allowed back on livestock duty, they had not been paired together. A small punishment in comparison, but one that still smarted. His response elicited a giggle from her though. 

“I’m on the barracks cleaning duty today. But we have our ODM equipment maintenance training after, remember? Are you going to help me again?” 

“Oh, come on. You don’t need my help. You can disassemble and reassemble the gear better than me now,” he teased, enjoying watching her blush prettily. Krista blushed easy with her pale skin, and he had yet to tire of watching it. Soldier Reiner was bolder than Warrior Reiner. 

“But I have a hard time loosening the pistons. I don’t have enough arm strength to twist the wrench hard enough,” she complained, but seemed mollified by his compliment. 

“Somehow, I think you’ll manage.” He winked at her then and stood, sweeping back from the bench with his bowl in hand. He had his own work to get to, and the taste of breakfast- and her company- had been soured by the appearance of the warriors. “I’ll see you later then.” 

\---

Krista ran through the motions of her chores, the sweeping and the dusting, and the wiping. She was an excellent cleaner, and small enough to crawl into the corners that no one ever got to. The officers had very little reason to complain about her work. But she was distracted. Her mind was filled with thoughts of a certain blonde giant. Reiner was occupying more and more of her thoughts each day. 

Since that night in the barn, she had come to depend on his presence. He was sturdy and strong, and had proven himself trustworthy. Perhaps most importantly, he made her feel safe in a way that she couldn’t remember previously in her life. Maybe moments from when she was a child, but those memories were surrounded by haze and mist, unable to form into something solid. 

And Reiner was solid. 

A shiver trilled through her extremities, pooling in her belly as the last thought crossed her mind. She shook her head to clear it of the increasingly heated ideas and went back to cleaning. The sooner she finished, the sooner she could make it to training. 

In the corner of the room, the door creaked open. Krista’s was sprawled in the corner, reaching with splayed fingers for a sock someone had miraculously balled into the corner under a bunk. It was Mikasa’s bunk, but decidedly not Mikasa’s sock. Mikasa was too clean for that. A soft flump onto the bed she was squeezed beneath jolted her, momentarily knocking some wind out of her before she wriggled free, absent that infernal sock. 

Ymir was sprawled on the Mikasa’s bed above her, arms folded behind her head, mussing the perfectly made covers. She smirked as Krista stood with a huff. 

“I could’ve been trapped under there you know!” she scolded, and puffed herself up to seem larger, placing her hands on her hips. It didn’t work. Ymir snickered. 

“Oh please! You’re so tiny, you can wiggle out of anything,” she replied, and Krista felt Ymir’s eyes trail up and down her form, as though checking that her statement was still true. Irritation bit down on Krista’s cheerful disposition. She didn’t appreciate being crushed, or reminded of her stature. 

“What are you doing in here? Don’t you have your own chores?” 

Ymir smiled with mocking, syrupy sweetness up at her. “I finished them early just so I could come and see you.” Even her voice was cloying and dripping with honey. Krista would’ve normally written it off as Ymir being herself, but it was bothering her more than usual.

“Did you come to help, or to watch?” Krista snapped with more force than necessary. She spun on her heel to wipe down the already spotless bed posts behind her, resolutely ignoring her. Ymir scoffed at the implication that she would do any more work than necessary, and kept her place on Mikasa’s bunk. 

“That’s what I thought,” Krista sighed.

“Hey, the military only requires one chore of me a day sweetheart. If they think that’s enough, then who am I to argue?” Ymir said airily. 

“You could help because I’m your friend?” Krista reminded her, throttling her tone into civility. 

“Nah, it’s much more fun to just watch you do all the work,” Ymir remarked and shifted onto her side, propping her head in her hand. “You’re like a mouse in a fairy tale. Or that one with the dirty princess. Poor, long suffering Krista.” 

“If you keep comparing me to little field animals, I’m going to chew a hole in your blanket,” Krista growled, but Ymir just laughed. Krista saw red, and whipped around to glare at her. 

“I don’t see what’s so funny, Ymir! You aren’t being helpful- you’re just being lazy.” 

Ymir sat up at that, rustling the neatly made bed and scowled at her. 

“Are you mad at me or something?” 

Krista wasn’t entirely sure what she was feeling, but her annoyance simmered at the top, waiting to spill over. 

“No, why would I be mad at someone who crushes me, insults me, and then won’t even bother to help?” she muttered, but her eyes darted away from Ymir's, unable to hold their piercing gaze. It wasn’t a particularly fair assessment- Ymir regularly came to keep her company after she finished her chores, but her mannerisms- her caustic attitude was eating at Krista today. It had been for the last few weeks, she supposed. 

“Whatever. Clean by yourself then,” Ymir sneered, and hopped up off the bed. She was out the door before Krista could apologize or take back her words, although she found she didn’t particularly want to. It’s not like she had been actually helping her anyways. She’d just been ruining a perfectly made bed, and squishing her. And teasing her about her height, which Ymir knew bothered her. A small part of her resented the hurt feelings she had just surely caused, but the larger, indignant side insisted that Ymir hurt her feelings all the time. She could handle a little taste of her own medicine. 

Krista tossed the rag onto the floor with a frustrated sigh and began to pack up the cleaning supplies. She was mostly finished anyways and equipment maintenance with Reiner would help take her mind off her tiff with Ymir. 

It was a short walk to the equipment building from the barracks. Other than the stables, most of the buildings were only a short walk. She wrapped her arms around herself to stay warm and hurried, desperate to be out of the cold quickly. Some of the other cadets were already in the room, standing behind their assigned places at their tables. Reiner’s spot was diagonal and to the right of her spot. He pivoted slightly when she took her place next to Mikasa, quirking his lips up at her, but that’s all he could give before the instructors entered the room and began their lesson. 

Lesson was maybe a loose term. They could’ve been called lessons when the cadets first arrived at camp, but now they were more like drills. Speed drills and accuracy drills. Precision drills. Who can disassemble and reassemble quickest? Who can clean their equipment the most thoroughly? Who can manage to oil every gear so that they run the smoothest? It was mind-numbing- and finger-numbing- work, but practice made permanent. Krista knew every inch of her equipment, and since Reiner had helped her early on, she could handle it well herself. She had small, nimble fingers that could make work of the more intricate details and a brain filled to burst with names of each piece in her load out. What she lacked in the arm strength, she made up for in knowledge. 

“Today we will disassemble our equipment and do a routine maintenance check on the item. You will, of course, be timed,” the officer at the front eyed them as he projected. It wasn’t Instructor Shadis today, though this one liked to think he was. That usually meant that the lessons were more difficult than necessary. “I will be walking around the room to monitor your progress. I expect you to complete your maintenance in the specific order required of a cadet. I will be randomly calling on cadets in the process of their work to explain what they’re doing to the room. Anyone who answers incorrectly will start again from the beginning.” 

A collective groan emanated from the group and Krista felt herself no exception. This was a new twist on an already old threat. But, as Reiner had asserted earlier himself, she didn’t need anyone’s help anymore. She was capable, and intelligent- she could make this work. The room simmered into silence as the instructor strode to the front of the room and surveyed them. 

“Begin.” 

Krista flexed her fingers and got to work. The equipment was familiar by now, and she was confident in her ability to finish quickly and efficiently. The rest of the cadets didn’t seem to hold her confidence, but they set about their task anyways. Mechanical scraping and gear clicking filled the room as two dozen soldiers began to disassemble their equipment. The cool metal felt pleasant under her fingers and she could feel herself being drawn into her work. 

“Bott!” The sound made Krista- and half the other recruits in the room- flinch. After working steadily in silence for at least ten minutes, the instructor had picked his first victim: sweet Marco Bott. He was seated next to Jean, who looked terrified, but pleased that he wasn’t the one who was called upon. 

“Y-yes, sir?” 

“Explain what you are doing to the room.” 

Marco spluttered for a moment, his face quickly reddening under the scrutiny. Pity swelled in Krista’s chest for him, but no one could save him but himself. 

“I’m removing the pistons to begin recalibration of the tanks?” His statement came out like a question, his voice pitching upward at the end in anxiety. 

“Are you asking me or telling me?” 

“Telling you? Uh...telling you. Sir,” Marco said, fidgeting in his seat. The instructor let him linger for a moment, silence stretching taut like a rubber band. 

“Incorrect. Begin again.” And the instructor turned on his heel to begin stalking the room once more. Krista shot a sympathetic look Marco’s way, but quickly turned back to her work like all the rest of the cadets. The pattern continued two more times. The instructor would stop some poor, unsuspecting soldier- first Connie and then Eren- and would inevitably force them to begin again. Krista was so absorbed in her work that she didn’t hear the clicking of military boots stop short beside her table. 

“Ahem.” 

Krista blinked at her work, and her fingers froze where they were. With a sinking stomach, she let her eyes trail up the imposing figure of the Instructor. He stared down at her, one eyebrow raised. 

“Cadet Lenz. Explain what you are doing to the room, if you please.”

She gulped audibly in the silence and looked back down at her equipment, her brain short circuiting in her panic. 

“Umm…” 

“‘Um’, Ms. Lenz? I don’t believe that’s a component of our equipment.” 

Krista’s eyes darted up to the instructors and then away again, sweeping the room as her throat closed in embarrassment. Most cadets still had their eyes on their own work, as though afraid her misfortune was contagious. Finally, her gaze landed on Reiner. He was staring intently back at her. When her eyes met his, he offered a small, encouraging smile. Warmth swelled in her chest and she squared her narrow shoulders and stood at full attention, staring down the intimidating instructor. 

“I am currently rotating the pistons of the firing mechanisms. Before that, I removed and oiled the gear well.” She hoped her voice sounded confident. Reiner’s face had cracked into a wide grin. Buoyed on her success, she continued on brazenly. “Next, I will close up the casing and begin checking the wiring.”

Quiet stretched in the room as the Instructor inspected her equipment. Nervous glances around the room calmed her a bit. Her table mate Mikasa was impassive, but not coldly so. Armin wore a small smile. Ymir was trying her best to look impassive and apathetic, but Krista could tell she was following the exchange with rapt attention. Maybe she’d respect her a bit more after this. Presuming she was right, of course. 

“That’s correct,” the Instructor nodded. “Resume.” 

Krista fought the urge to jump and squeal, opting instead for a stoic salute. When he turned to begin walking away, she bounced a bit, her cheeks aching from how hard she was smiling. Reiner shot her a thumbs up, mirroring her expression, and several other covertly nodded and grinned her way in acknowledgment. Carefully she turned back to her work, flushed with praise. 

The Instructor only called on one more person during the course of their routine- Armin- who also succeeded in answering correctly. Finally dismissed, the cadets filed out of the stuffy building into the crisp air, and towards the combat grounds to begin their next dredge. 

As she exited, Krista sight of Reiner, his forearm caught in the iron grip of Annie, hunched over, face reddening as she whispered in his ear. Krista’s stomach clenched uncomfortably in what could only be described as jealousy. When Annie released him, their eyes caught for just a moment too long, before he nodded and turned, catching Krista’s gaze before his eyes darted away. With forced nonchalance, he breezed past her in the doorway. No look, no words, no acknowledgment. The dismissal stung. Krista could feel the foundation that they’d carved out together in the stables lurch uncomfortably under her feet as he walked away. 

Annie just stared back at her, impassive and unknowable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! It's a bit of a filler chapter (setting up the next arc of the story!!) but it was fun to write just the same. I have a thing for capable Krista and clumsy Reiner. Tell me what you think!!


	8. Chapter 8

Reiner watched the sky darken to purples and blues with increasing anxiety. His stomach felt as though it dropped down below the horizon with the sun itself. Annie would be waiting for them behind the woodshed soon, and she hadn’t looked pleased at the prospect when she’d stopped him after equipment maintenance. 

“Tonight. Don’t get sidetracked,” she’d hissed in his ear. The implication being that he would get sidetracked with Krista. He wished he could do that instead of slipping back into his warrior persona. Being a soldier in her presence was becoming much more enjoyable. The thought of how he’d dismissed her after maintenance ate at the corners of his mind. He couldn’t risk speaking to her so soon after Annie’s warning, but he hoped it hadn’t bothered her. It had certainly bothered him.  
They never had long to discuss their plans and preparations here. The training was designed to schedule out each increment of time in the cadet’s day so that they were molded effectively. They had taken to meeting during chores or during times designated for changing or grooming. The last two months or so had granted him a reprieve from their scheming, and a break from his double life, as the snows had been too deep for Annie to travel. His Soldiers uniform had settled comfortably across his shoulders during the break, and he found that he didn’t entirely like taking it off. It was a better fit than his Warriors clothes, always too tight and too big at the same time. Too ill fitting. The Soldier role, however, fit him like a glove. 

As the horizon swallowed the last streaks of gold, Reiner pushed himself off the cabin stairs and made his way casually towards the wood shed. Deep pockets hid his white knuckled fists as he strode for nonchalance. 

They were already waiting for him, in deep conversation with each other. They made a pretty picture, Bertolt almost bent double to whisper fervently to her, stars beginning to peak out over head. The couple even froze and fell silent when he approached, both staring at him in wariness. All that was missing was their hands clasped. But this wasn’t an interrupted romantic rendezvous. This was a covert military debriefing. His stomach flipped over on itself. 

“Look who finally decided to join us,” Annie drawled, and Bertolt straightened quickly, a hint of blush staining his cheeks. Maybe it had been more romantic than he thought? 

“I told you I’d be here, didn’t I?” Reiner replied defensively. Inwardly, he winced at how childish he sounded, but he closed the gap between them anyways, closing in the triangle and crossing his arms.

“I’m glad you came Reiner,” Bertolt smiled cautiously, and he felt a sharp twinge of guilt. Bertolt trusted him, and while he knew he hadn’t betrayed that trust outright, Reiner knew he hadn’t been the friend he’d deserved. 

“Thanks Bertolt,” he smiled back, and let his gaze flick down. “Alright Annie, what’s up?”

Half lidded eyes blinked slowly in his direction. “What’s...up?”

“Yeah. What did you find out?” Reiner fought the urge to tap his foot impatiently. The air was chilling around them as night descended. Annie observed him in silence for a few agonizing moments before answering. 

“I couldn’t make it far last night. The snows haven’t cleared enough for wall access yet.” A small shrug ghosted across her frame, spiking Reiner’s already mounting frustration. 

“Then why are we even here?” he snapped. 

“Why? Have somewhere better to be?” Annie asked dryly, and blinked at him again, long and slow. Silence stretched, a gaping maw between them that Reiner struggled to find a method of closing. Bertolt did it for him. 

“I’m sure Reiner wants to be here, Annie,” he said softly, cutting her a quick look. “Please continue.” 

She stared at Bertolt, and Reiner wondered for a moment if she would refuse to speak on sheer principal before she began again. 

“I made it to the village to the west.”

“Dauper?” Bertolt clarified, and Reiner could see the location on the map in his mind. He had memorized the layout of the walls and villages as soon as they’d arrived- they all had. Training had cemented the knowledge to the point that he couldn’t help the images from flooding his mind as they spoke. There was only one problem.

“Yeah, I think so.” 

Now he didn’t just see places and names. He saw faces. 

“Sasha is from Dauper,” he commented absently. He couldn’t stop seeing the faces of the people he’d met plastered over unassuming dots. Dots could be conquered and catalogued. Faces were more difficult. The other two were staring at him, one with unsurprised annoyance, and the other with confusion. “What?”

“How do you know that?” Bertolt asked, brow crinkling as he tried to puzzle it out. 

“I heard her talking to Krista one time,” he deflected, and mentally throttled himself for bringing _her_ up. Keeping her required more discretion than he had just shown. “Just keep going ok?” 

His comment didn’t go unnoticed, but Annie chose to ignore it to continue with the debriefing. 

“No one had anything interesting to talk about other than the usual. The King passed some new tax law no one is happy about.”

Bertolt nodded, deep in thought. “Unsurprising. There’s still too many mouths to feed in here. They must be looking for a way to keep up their supply of titan fodder.” 

“Come on, Bertolt,” Reiner hedged, and shifted his weight on his feet. Regardless of the truth of his words, it made him...uneasy to hear them said so casually. Even if he had repeated that same rhetoric scarcely weeks before. They continued on as though he hadn’t spoken. 

“I’m going to scout Hermina next week. The snows should be clear by then. It’s another pocket city like the one we smashed the first time,” Annie continued, ignorant to the stab of guilt that ripped through him at the reminder. A dull ache started at the base of his skull. 

Bertolt hummed in consideration. “Could be useful. What do you think Reiner?” 

Two sets of eyes swiveled in his direction. He felt his face heat under their scrutiny. And he made a choice. 

“Do you-” he began and cleared his throat. Even to his ears, he sounded scratchy and unsure. “...do you think smashing another wall will actually draw out the Attack Titan?”

They stared at him again, and as the tension drew and snapped, the Warrior part of his mind knew he had made a mistake. Screamed at him to reconsider, to say something. Anything. The Soldier watched on silently. 

“Are you doubting your own plan?” Annie finally asked, her monotone dripping with disdain. 

“I’m just saying,” he replied hastily. What was he even doing? “It didn’t work the first time, and it’s been four years so far.”

“So what? Our time here was a waste?” she snapped, and Reiner could feel the monotone deserting her. Harsh tones began to creep in, a sure sign of her fury. “Marcel’s death was a waste?”

His resolve shrunk in the face of her raw emotion. “No, I didn’t say that,” he corrected in an attempt to backtrack. 

“You might as well have,” she sneered. “You told us to trust you, and we did. You got us into this mess.”

“I still think we can draw the Attack Titan out,” he assured her, hands up in supplication as he struggled to put words to his feelings. “I just...don’t think more people have to die.”

“Excuse me?” Annie began, but Bertolt placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Tagging in. 

“Look, the death bothers me too. But this is our purpose,” he reminded him, eyes pleading. “We were honored when we were given this mission. Marley chose us.”

“Not him,” she barked. Bertolt winced and looked away. Reiner sucked in a breath as his heart stuttered to a stop.

“What?”

“Marley didn’t choose you. Marley didn’t want you,” she hissed venomously. “You’re a second string nobody desperate for a cause.” 

The dull ache in his skull stretched wider with every word she spoke. 

“My blood runs red for Marley,” Reiner whispered in retaliation, drawing a sharp scoff from Annie.

“I’m sure it does. But it runs hot for _her_.” 

“Who?” he asked. He knew who. He could feel the blood draining from his face. The headache throbbed. His ignorance was drawing an almost animated fury from his teammate. 

“Oh, now he’s going to play dumb.” Annie shot Bertolt a look as she gestured. “The girl you’ve been mooning after and compromising yourself for. Krista Lenz.”

“Shut up,” he murmured, his voice trampled by her continued onslaught. The ache curled like fingers, grasping at his face.

“You’ve put us all at risk with your little obsession.”

“Shut up.” The urge to rub the palms of his hands into his eyes, burrowing them into his skull was almost too strong to ignore. 

“If she finds out who you are, she will turn you in without any remorse.” Her eyes narrowed, blue eyes flashing ice. 

“Annie-” Bertolt cut in, but she barreled over him in her escalation, scenting blood in the water.

“It would be the patriotic thing of her to do surely. You’re nothing-”

“I said-” Reiner began. The pain ratcheted up. It was all he could do to stay standing. 

“-but a traitor.”

“SHUT UP!” 

His voice echoed in the frigid air, as she finally fell silent. Annie let her energy drop off again, face falling slack and arms crossing again as her wall resurfaced. Bertolt eyed him warily, as though he’d never quite seen him before. His pain retreated in the lengthening silence but continued to throb, asserting its presence with the steady beat of his heart. 

“What’d I tell you, Bertolt?” she asked, he tone bordering on bored. As though she hadn’t just goaded him into erupting in the night. “He’s compromised.” 

His blood ran cold. “No.”

“Our mission is at stake here,” she reminded them. 

“I’m not compromised,” Reiner insisted, but he could feel his credibility splitting beneath his feet. He couldn’t even try for a tone that bespoke of the absurdity of her accusation- he just sounded desperate. 

“Which one of us will have to eat him?” She looked to Bertolt for the answer, but he was still frozen in place, staring at Reiner in mute shock. 

“Hey!” That tone was better. At least this time his tone held some indignation. Indignant didn’t sound guilty. 

“Reiner please…” Bertolt sounded exhausted, anxious. Sad. 

“What? I’m not! I haven’t told her anything suspicious,” he insisted, hands spread in supplication. “I’ve kept up appearances.”

“A little too well,” Annie snarked and he scowled back at her, irritation spiking. 

“How is that a crime? I’m making sure we don’t get caught!” The Soldier reminded him that that wasn’t all he was doing. He was falling, head first. He was drowning in _her_. But that same voice begged him- _deny it_. 

“By sleeping with the enemy? Real helpful!” she snorted and Bertolt blinked rapidly, pulling himself from his shocked stupor and rounding on Reiner. 

“Have you slept with her?” 

“No! Of course not!” Reiner assured him. At least that wasn’t a lie. 

“But you want to,” Annie asserted, and Reiner held his tongue. That wasn’t a lie either, but they could never know that. It would be the end of them both. 

“You can’t have her Reiner.” Reiner felt his fists clench as Bertolt spoke. He resisted the irrational urge to bare his bare his teeth in defiance.

“To even think it is to risk everything we stand for.” As though he didn’t already know that. The Warrior grappled with it. The Soldier flaunted it. 

“I don’t want her!” he insisted, lying through his teeth. The pain flared white hot in his mind, distorting his denial with pain and confusion. “I want to complete our mission and GO HOME!” 

“Prove it then.”

Reiner’s mind stuttered to a halt as Annie’s challenge leveled him. She couldn’t mean...

“W-What?”

“Prove it. Cut her out.” She said it casually, as though it wasn’t asking him to remove the one thing that allowed him to live as this other person; that made his soldier’s role tangible. 

“Don’t you think that's a little extreme?” Bertolt hedged, but Annie held her hand, silencing him with a glance. 

“So is a traitor’s execution,” she reminded them and stalked towards Reiner, feet crunching in the frigid earth, her stare freezing him in his spot. “What do you think? Do they still draw and quarter in this hell hole? Or will they just throw us over the wall?”

Reiner’s mind spun on its wheels, searching wildly for traction. His chance to maintain his budding relationship was slipping like sand through his fingers, and no amount of grasping could contain it. His chance to have this pure, simple thing- the only thing he’d wanted for himself since before he signed up for the Warrior unit as a boy- drifted away on the cold winter wind. He reached out anyways. 

“I can’t cut her out. That will look suspicious.”

He could tell it didn’t work before he’d finished his sentence. 

“I saw her face after equipment maintenance this morning. She already thinks something is wrong. It shouldn’t be hard to use that for distance.” 

Her drawn expression flitted into his mind before despair pushed it back out. “But that…”

“And she has that friend who always hangs off her and shoots you dirty looks. She’ll pick up the slack,” Annie assured him. 

Acidic jealousy tinged his vision, twisting his insides. “Ymir-”

“Oh so you know your rival’s name too?” 

The ache throbbed again. “She-”

“Reiner...do you have feelings for her?”

Pleading eyes met his, and in that moment he knew he looked as desperate as Bertolt. How could he answer that? How could he admit to the depth of his illicit feelings? 

“No I-” he began but Annie cut him off. 

“Don’t lie to us.”

“Reiner, we’re your family.” Guilt and pain coupled as they ripped viscerally through his torso. Bertolt was correct after all. They were the closest thing he had to family within these Walls. “Please. Do you have feelings for her?”

“I…” Truth or lie? And whose to tell? Soldier? Warrior? “I don’t know.” 

The expression that stole over Bertolt’s face was sympathetic, but firm. 

“Then it’s too close to risk. I’m sorry. But she could compromise our mission and ruin our life's work. You have to let her go.”

Reiner expected the world to crumple at the edges when all hope was extinguished, but in reality, it was just silence. Deafening, hollow silence that seeped into his soul and colored his thoughts in dark, opaque hues, shrouding the future in despair. The pit forming in his gut rooted him in place. 

“Understood.” The words tasted like ash in his mouth. But Bertolt and Annie didn’t notice, and they both nodded as though they’d checked on a box on their to-do list. Reaffirm Reiner’s loyalty? Check. 

Ruin Reiner’s existence as a Soldier? Check. 

“Then we’ll meet back here same time next week?” Bertolt asked. The words sounded far away. Annie nodded. 

“I should be finished with the Hermina scope by then.” 

“Good. Come on, Reiner. Let’s grab some dinner.” 

And then, as though nothing had changed at all, Bertolt pulled him along from behind the shed towards the mess hall. He sat with him as they ate, Reiner choking down every bite, eyes glued to his food to avoid the gaze of anyone unintended. Any people for whom he might harbor feelings. After all, he was a Warrior. He had a job to do. A mission to complete. 

Orders to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so evil, I'm sorry!! 
> 
> There wasn't any of our angel baby Krista in this one, but I really wanted to highlight the tension forming in their little trio. I hope you aren't too disapointed! 
> 
> My updates may grow a bit more sporadic as I am beginning a new job, but I will keep at it! I love this story, and I have no intentions of abandoning it- it may just be a little less scheduled!


End file.
